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The End of Hypochondria?
September 24th 2003, 11:16 CEST by Marsh Davies

Those unlucky enough to have hereditary susceptibility to illness might find themselves being turned down insurance, in a perturbing Gattaca-style drive towards genetic fingerprinting.

Yes, I know I sound like a hysterical tabloid scaremonger, but, as I discovered to my horror, insurance companies can already demand tests for Huntington’s disease, and have every intention of snooping for hereditary dispositions towards other illnesses too.

In fact, here is a very enlightening article from the Independent, all about it.

But, to be honest, I’m not interested in slapping the insurance companies’ wrists. It was pretty inevitable. What interests me is the social implications it will have on another curious phenomenon of our time – over-eager self-diagnosis. It may be because I’m a reasonably un-allergic, generally healthy chap. It may be because I’m an intolerable cunt. Who knows? But the fact is, I find the sudden increase in new illnesses to be slightly baffling, irritating, and remarkably faddish.

I know, I know, some of you pill-popping neurotic post-yuppy self-obsessives really do suffer from crippling ailments that prevent you from eating dairy-products, or root-vegetables, or breathing nitrogen, or enjoying life at all. But you must admit, that especially in the area of poorly-understood psychological welfare, the rise in diagnosable illness seems to be part and parcel in the increasing denial of responsibility. You’re not “rubbish at reading”, you are “dyslexic”; you’re not “a poorly behaved shit”, you’ve got “attention deficit disorder”; you’re not “smothered by over-bearing parents”, you’ve “got M.E”.

Please don’t think that I’m saying that the former of these perspectives is the right one. I’m just saying there has been a change in perspective. And suddenly, nothing’s anyone’s fault any more. And suddenly, it’s fashionable to be ill. And suddenly, cooking for people is real fucking pain in the ass, lest an errant particle of peanut accidentally causes guests to have spastic fits and swallow their own tongues. Look at the number of discussions we’ve had on here about the pills we take and what for. The ‘Crap may not be the epicentre of cool, but it certainly mirrors the trendy obsession with self-medication and self-diagnosis, if not a narcissistic desire for drama.

But with there now being an incentive to be as healthy as possible or otherwise being exiled into a genetic underclass, will this all change? Instead of sharing post-vicodin margarita chasers with friends, nibbling at a taste-free Atkins approved meal, and saying how wonderful it is you can now buy CFC free bananas because they used be just so terrible for your fragile complexion, will we be wrestling in our own faeces and eating worms just to prove how wonderfully tough our constitutions are?

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Home » Topic: The End of Hypochondria?

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#129 by The_Joker
2003-09-25 00:17:01

And while he's at it, bago, you forgot the whole sentence about "sucking Joker's wang" as well.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka
PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".

#130 by bago
2003-09-25 00:17:26

damn. My net connection is slow. You replied before I even saw my post posted.

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#131 by bago
2003-09-25 00:18:07

That taste of shite on jokers wang after it comes out of his arse?

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#132 by The_Joker
2003-09-25 00:18:29

can someone please explain to me why after 5 minutes of watching porn my wang is still not reacting?

#133 by bago
2003-09-25 00:19:12

You keep watching planetcrap and posting there?

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#134 by Shadarr
2003-09-25 00:29:42

Yotsuya,

I was just playing on the "living a long time == success" angle. Obviously, Ritter wasn't a failure. I watched the Behind the Music version of Three's Company, and while I respect him and can't really fault him, after seeing that I have to say that the woman who played Janet was the only person connected with the show that didn't come off as a greedy fuck. I am so glad I decided not to go into television.

#135 by Ergo
2003-09-25 00:34:22

#127 bago

Whatever. If I want to tweak my body out in the most un-naturla and perverse manner I can think of it's my right.
My body and all of that.

I have to live with it.

You moralists trying to tell me which medical/cosmetic procedures I can and can't do are really a bunch of pretentious gits.

I'm sorry, bago, but this is one of the most What?-worthy posts I've seen in months.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs

#136 by Dethstryk
2003-09-25 00:38:24

No, bago has a huge point.

sunny days have funny ways of quieting the roar

#137 by Ergo
2003-09-25 00:39:44

Maybe, but was anyone really arguing about that? Maybe I missed those posts.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs

#138 by Dethstryk
2003-09-25 00:40:04

Oh, well. I suppose not.

sunny days have funny ways of quieting the roar

#139 by Shadarr
2003-09-25 00:44:55

Someone brought up botox late in the thread. Otherwise, I don't think bago was really replying to anyone except the voices in his head.

#140 by Ergo
2003-09-25 00:47:47

Maybe he overdid it a bit at that Flaming Guy festival he went to.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs

#141 by Bailey
2003-09-25 01:01:33

I'll be married in 11 days, 20 hours, 47 minutes, and 10 seconds. Then it will not only be entirely accepted that I breed, it will be expected. This is the time for a peoples of the Earth to be afraid.

Yeah, one less trailer park lot available to the masses tends to induce terror.

LPMiller

It's strange, the argument that living is a bad thing.

Depends on who's doing the living.

bago

You moralists trying to tell me which medical/cosmetic procedures I can and can't do are really a bunch of pretentious gits.

An accurate depiction of irony, but sadly Lord Nekrull is long departed.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

#142 by bago
2003-09-25 01:04:44

Yeah, it was mostly a knee jerk reaction to the botox thing. But at the same time it addresses the underlying attitude of "allowing" medical procedures vis-a-vis genetic typing.

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#143 by Caryn
2003-09-25 01:07:12

#142 bago

Yeah, it was mostly a knee jerk reaction to the botox thing.

I still say we reserve the right to point and laugh at people who think that injecting botulism under their skin is a good idea, and to laugh harder when down the line they're shocked and awed that they're suffering nerve damage in their face because of it.

My battlecry: "Zang! Who is that, running on the fields! It is Hellchick, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! She roars mightily: 'I'm going to brutalize you harder than God thought possible!!!'"

#144 by Squeaky
2003-09-25 01:12:34

#75 Post-It

Just FYI, if you're planning on purchasing any games soon:

30% off everything at KB Toys during Oct. 8-14

Does it apply to Online purchases I wonder?

I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement
DVDs

#145 by Shadarr
2003-09-25 01:18:12

I reserve the right to laugh at anyone who does anything stupid and trendy, whether it's botox or piercing or getting a Chinese character tatooed on your arm or dressing goth or getting the exact same haircut as all your other dyke friends. At least the women who get implants can justify it as an investment in their earning/husband-snaring potential.

#146 by bago
2003-09-25 01:24:58

Oh, definately. I think you can mock and bray all you want. But as for making things illegal.. that's a whole different can of worms.

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#147 by Bailey
2003-09-25 01:28:43

I can't be a free spirit until I've had an ampallang piercing!

Probably not worksafe.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

#148 by Squeaky
2003-09-25 01:34:14

#111 UncleJeet

I'll be married in 11 days, 20 hours, 47 minutes, and 10 seconds. Then it will not only be entirely accepted that I breed, it will be expected. This is the time for a peoples of the Earth to be afraid.

You're getting married at Disneyworld right? I saw the chapel there last time I went. And oh. my. god. what an elaborate set-up they've got.

I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement
DVDs

#149 by Post-It
2003-09-25 01:40:31

Not sure if this is for real but Half-Life 2 GOLD.

Comment Signature

#150 by Shadarr
2003-09-25 01:46:45

bago,

Some things should be illegal because the danger outweighs the benefit. That's the whole purpose behind regulated industries. If something is too dangerous, it shouldn't be available to the public whether or not they're made aware of the risks because, quite frankly, people are stupid. And corporations are evil. One of the roles of government is to protect stupid people from evil corporations.

#151 by Post-It
2003-09-25 01:53:10

Scratch that, its fake.

Comment Signature

#152 by The_Joker
2003-09-25 01:56:25

as you can tell from the delay in my post, my wang eventually did respond. thought it was broken. thank heavens it's ok.

#153 by bago
2003-09-25 02:01:33

The ultimate question is "dangerous to whom"? It something is only dangerous to ones self, that that one self should accept full responsibility for the activity, and as such exempt it from regulation. (being that regulation is the distribution of responsiblity)

Otherwise you wind up living in a society where "Warning: may cause drowsiness" is affixed to the side of a sleeping pill container.

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#154 by Ryslin
2003-09-25 02:39:52

I don't know what angle to take on this thread. I at one time was at the mercy of any hospital that would prescribe me what I needed to make it through anouther few months. Then I got a doctor who told me its all in my head. I didn't like that answer(course insurance came with accually seeing doctors) and found anouther one. He said don't come back til you can have a life changing operation.

My current GP is a great guy. He makes me feel guilty so that I will tell him what is going on. He is not allowed to perscribe any "female" oriented perscriptions. I think if he was I would have what I need.

I hope my son doesn't have a daughter. Thus the insurance companys can't have fits. In the end I hope I see my son grow up. These days it doesn't look realistic.
My 30th birthday is Sunday the 29th. I feel about 50 years old. Age will catch up with you. Sooner if you had fun as a youngin.

Rys

Zang! Who is that, running over the desert! It is Ryslin, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a spectacular grunt, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to spank you beyond mortal comprehension, then bake cookies!"

#155 by Caryn
2003-09-25 02:45:41

#154 Ryslin

My current GP is a great guy. He makes me feel guilty so that I will tell him what is going on. He is not allowed to perscribe any "female" oriented perscriptions. I think if he was I would have what I need.

Okay...I completely don't get that. Why would a doctor not be allowed to prescribe "female-oriented" prescriptions, whatever that might be?

#156 by Bailey
2003-09-25 03:01:38

Danger to the individual, as well as the danger of becoming a burden on society. If the body modification or plastic surgery or whatever is new and people have no idea what sort of long-term repercussions may arise, well... Better to protect the idiot teenagers from "expressing themselves as individuals, just like everyone else" than to have to pay for their medical bills ten years down the road when that blossoming career as a coffee barrista doesn't cover the cranial-barbell removal process. When you're altering your body for fashion or convenience, you're risking long-term health problems. Every jackass will say "It's my body and I can do what I want with it!" but they're also the same people squalling for medical help they can't afford when they get infections or nerve damage or STDs from the process. And maybe you won't be the one to look for others for help if you end up in that situation, but the Great American Guilt Trip dictates someone will feel obligated to force aid on you, and that someone will have no such compunctions about public fundraisers or internet petitions or two-hour telethons on public access television.

Now personally, the long, drawn-out, and inevitably painful death of such a cross-section of society would be little more than a noisy inconvenience if I were running things, not unlike the faint illegible murmur currently produced by PTA boards, soccer moms, and liberals (well, to my ears). But I'm not in charge, so that means such actions can affect me. Even if it's just having to wait in line with perfectly legitimate alcohol poisoning at the ER while they chop off your gangrenous 75% surgical steel genital apparatus of choice, it affects me. So unless you want to go found a commune on AlternaIsland and cut yourselves off from society, such "repressive" input is valid and valued whether the free spirits want it or not.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

#157 by Bailey
2003-09-25 03:03:23

Note that the above, slightly tweaked, also applies to fatties, shut-ins, swingers, and a numerous other unnamed groups.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

#158 by mgns
2003-09-25 03:07:41

I think that after we kind of got rid of God, we replaced him with medicine. And in the role of Jesus Christ - celebrities. Also, The Holy Ghost is back, and this time - he's science.
Bah, anyway...

Children. Getting them, or not getting them. I'm kind of torn on the issue. On one hand, I'm an only child - so if I don't do it, the glorious train-wreck that is my family will end with me. On the other, what if I'm a bad father and our relation is a total meltdown, and I start drinking gasoline and smoking crack, and then the kid ends up in therapy and gets stuck with paying of my debts after I've sucked on granpa's husqvarna shotgun? Then what's the point?

I think watching Gilmore Girls has irreparably damaged my views on having kids.

At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take

#159 by Your Friend
2003-09-25 03:22:18

I didn't like that answer(course insurance came with accually seeing doctors) and found anouther one. He said don't come back til you can have a life changing operation.

My current GP is a great guy. He makes me feel guilty so that I will tell him what is going on. He is not allowed to perscribe any "female" oriented perscriptions. I think if he was I would have what I need.

Are you an Internet-enabled Racter?

"Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."

#160 by LPMiller
2003-09-25 03:24:30

But it's such a nice show.

I believe I can fly......urk.

#161 by UncleJeet
2003-09-25 03:32:42

#148
Squeaky

You're getting married at Disneyworld right? I saw the chapel there last time I went. And oh. my. god. what an elaborate set-up they've got.

Yessir, we'll be in that very chapel at 2:00pm on Oct. 6th. See? How can I possibly be so insane and mean and romantic all at the same time! IT MUST BE GENIUS ECCENTRICITY! Well that, or just a particularly odd rash....I'd tend to think the latter, in fact. Damned but it itches!

I'm fighting terrorism by playing violent video games!

#162 by Desiato
2003-09-25 03:47:12

If mario isn't on your cake, then you sir are a LIAR!

Good luck.

Programmers are the new blue-collar workforce. Bangalore or bust! Viva global economy!

#163 by Warren Marshall
2003-09-25 03:48:54

Children. Getting them, or not getting them. I'm kind of torn on the issue. On one hand, I'm an only child - so if I don't do it, the glorious train-wreck that is my family will end with me.

This is one area where I truly feel lucky. My having kids is a completely optional pursuit as it pertains to my family line. My 2 brothers are cranking out the kids so it matters little if I bother with it myself.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.

#164 by Warren Marshall
2003-09-25 03:50:09

#161 UncleJeet

#148
Squeaky

You're getting married at Disneyworld right? I saw the chapel there last time I went. And oh. my. god. what an elaborate set-up they've got.

Some might find it less genius and more pathetic, but others might not.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.

#165 by Desiato
2003-09-25 03:52:42

Karma, baby, karma.

Just maybe not spitting on cars from the overpass is the way to go this time, eh?

Programmers are the new blue-collar workforce. Bangalore or bust! Viva global economy!

#166 by Quicken
2003-09-25 04:06:08

On the whole people feeling their 20 minute train trip is more important than anything else that can possibly delay me topic. I thought this was an interesting display of just how shockingly impatient and hate filled some Australians are getting. It shames me that they could suggest a few deaths is a justified cost for them to get home on time.

#167 by BobJustBob
2003-09-25 04:13:58

A few deaths? I just see the one possible death, and that is the man in the stolen van who wants to kill himself. Kill that fucker and get the traffic moving!

Voices tell me I'm the shit.
<Whisp> BJB is a troll. <Whisp> Troll I say!

#168 by Warren Marshall
2003-09-25 04:34:12

He wants to die and he's making a public spectacle of himself while hindering the lives of countless other people.

Put that sniper rifle to your shoulder and do us all a favor, Mr. SharpShooter.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.

#169 by Bailey
2003-09-25 04:39:31

Maybe all he wants is some love.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

#170 by bago
2003-09-25 04:52:31

Love and a .45

I think there's a whole new way of thinking that sex doesn't necessarily sell - kittens are the new sex.

#171 by Quicken
2003-09-25 05:22:12

You are all a bunch of hating poopy bums!

#172 by G-Man
2003-09-25 05:37:26

Quicken in #166 said:

That is a mighty slippery slope you got there partner. So I take it you agree with lowering the speed limit to 25 miles per hour? It would avoid countless deaths due to automobile accidents.

#173 by Squeaky
2003-09-25 06:00:15

#164 Warren Marshall

#161 UncleJeet

#148
Squeaky

You're getting married at Disneyworld right? I saw the chapel there last time I went. And oh. my. god. what an elaborate set-up they've got.

Some might find it less genius and more pathetic, but others might not.

I forgot to mention the wedding happening at the chapel at the time. It is FAR from pathetic.

I'd get married there.

I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement
DVDs

#174 by Quicken
2003-09-25 06:11:56

#172 G-Man

That is a mighty slippery slope you got there partner. So I take it you agree with lowering the speed limit to 25 miles per hour? It would avoid countless deaths due to automobile accidents

Like the comments much earlier in this thread about the unreasonable hostility of train passengers. I think this is a case where drivers could have relaxed and said "Getting home 20 minutes late is fine as long as I don't start dodging bullets". There's a fine like between a safe way things can be done and an unsafe way. 25 mph is one extreme. Asking the police to shoot without thought is another.

I prefer something in the middle. There's no need to push for an extreme that assures only one thing: someone will be shot and likely die.

Besides which if a shooting starts the area becomes a crime scene and no one gets home any faster!

I withdraw my formerly announced love for you G-man you nasty lawyer-type you!

#175 by Squeaky
2003-09-25 06:19:40

The only people that are worse than lawyers are people trying to sell you mastercards in the mall. I'm coming home from work:

salesdickfuck: "'Scuse me sir, would you like to sign up for a free mastercard?"

me: ...

salesdickfuck: "It's completly free."

me: ...

salesdickfuck (yelling as I'm halfway on the otherside of the mall): "You'll enjoy great benefits!"

Or my favorite from a few days ago (same salesdickfuck):

sdf: "Would you like to sign up for a free mastercard?"

me: "No."

sdf: "It's free."

me: "Well in that case..." *looking like I'm genuinely interested*

*sdf getting excited*

me: "Hell no." And I walk off.

I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement
DVDs

#176 by G-Man
2003-09-25 06:20:37

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

#177 by Squeaky
2003-09-25 06:28:36

#176 G-Man

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

If you keep telling yourself that, it might come true one day.

I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement
DVDs

#178 by Phayyde
2003-09-25 06:52:42

Ryslin, you are young. 30 is a mere fawnling.

Beat to fit, paint to match.

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