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	RIP Steve Jobs October 6th 2011, 04:21 CEST by CheesyPoof I was late to the Apple wagon, but I'm glad that I jumped on. Thanks Steve.

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#42 by BobJustBob
2011-10-10 21:28:49

If I had read your comment two minutes ago I would have said they haven't fucked up yet, but then I read they're keeping discs on netflix.com. Fucking Netflix.

BUYBUYBUY

#43 by deadlock
2011-10-11 01:03:04

#35 by G-Man

Seen it dummy. Ever heard of PR?

There's something sort of... nice about you calling me a 'dummy'. Like we're brothers. *SNIFF*

Pathetic.

#44 by TreeFrog
2011-10-11 01:12:42

Jobs was a total dick, but at least he made people care about UI. Imagine being stuck with Windows Phone 6 for all time. And that's exactly what would have happened if Apple hadn't forced everyone else to raise their game.

I am back from two weeks in Alabama. The weather was gorgeous and I bought a bunch of tools and clothes, thereby balancing out my manliness and femininity.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble

#45 by BobJustBob
2011-10-11 02:40:20

I find your story implausible. Alabama has never had two straight weeks of good weather.

BUYBUYBUY

#46 by TreeFrog
2011-10-12 01:45:18

I was exaggerating. I was there for just under two weeks.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble

#47 by Trolly McTroll
2011-10-18 22:38:05

I'm glad he commissioned someone to write his biography so his children could know him. That's nice.

Britney Spears is about as subtle as an alarm clock that punches you in the balls.

#48 by Gunp01nt
2011-10-18 23:02:30

In a way, aren't we all his children?

She's probably had sex with like 4 different guys by now and has no idea who he is anymore, his face lost in a memory sea of dicks.

#49 by jjohnsen
2011-10-25 04:17:10

Did anyone get the biography? It's not bad so far, I'm actually a little shocked that Jobs agreed to it, he comes of as a bit of a dick. The honesty is not what I expected from a guy that usually controlled the media so well.

Johnsen Family
Planetcrap Flickr Group

#50 by yotsuya
2011-10-25 04:55:13

Well, he's not around to say anything about it, so either he didn't care, or the publisher didn't care. Hmmm.

52 Weeks and Something's On Movie Blog

#51 by LPMiller
2011-10-25 05:07:41

eh, he was always a dick, it just amazes me that people seemed to have forgotten a lot of that till now. Bill Gates was a big dick too, people have forgotten that as well. You don't get that rich by being nice.

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" - "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."

"LP, your big balls are a religion." - Jibble

#52 by jjohnsen
2011-10-25 05:33:08

I know he was a dick, it just surprises me that he didn't care that he was going to be portrayed as a dick after being such a control freak about the media for so long.

Johnsen Family
Planetcrap Flickr Group

#53 by Chunkstyle
2011-10-25 07:45:20

I'm not sure he realized he was being dickish.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.

#54 by Matt Perkins
2011-10-25 20:41:07

I think Chunk has the right of it. Driven is how many of these top guys see themselves. A giant dick is how others see them many times.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#55 by TreeFrog
2011-10-26 00:45:30

I want a billionaire I can look up to. Someone who is just all-round kitten-huggingly nice. Alternatively a psychotic billionaire who pays someone to cap motherfuckers like Zuckerberg.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble

#56 by Matt Perkins
2011-10-26 02:22:03

Well, just send me the money.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#57 by Milan Brezovský
2011-10-26 13:56:00

Well, I don't know anything about the guy, but at least Warren Buffet said out loud that super-rich should get higher taxes. Doesn't make him kitten-huggable, though.

Parhelic Triangle is coming. Eventually.

#58 by gaggle
2011-10-27 23:18:05

From looking at my colleagues computers BF3 looks pretty standard-fare linear singleplayer bullshit. I'll have none of that.

On the other hand, Steam Halloween sale has Deadspace 1 and 2 for 17 bucks. HOLY SHIT. I've been wanting to play DS2 for a good while.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML

#59 by G-Man
2011-10-28 01:27:22

Yeah, other than the graphics I'm not sure what the big deal is. But maybe I am just old an busted etc. Personally I never really dug the ticket/respawn system that the BF series relies on for its central gameplay - much preferring the limited spawn system that Counter-Strike uses - so perhaps I am just not in the target market in the first place.

#60 by Gunp01nt
2011-10-28 09:54:45

Games like MW2 and BF3 and the like are becoming so linear they're getting dangerously close to rail shooters. The BF3 fighter plane sequence already is.

She's probably had sex with like 4 different guys by now and has no idea who he is anymore, his face lost in a memory sea of dicks.

#61 by Dethstryk
2011-10-28 18:04:56

Judging BF3 for its throwaway SP campaign sort of misses the point of the game. The meat is in the MP.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"

#62 by Matt Perkins
2011-10-28 22:51:17

From what I've seen, if I had a good internet connection, I would have bought BF3 already. It looks fantasic and appears to capture at least some of the goodness of BF2.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#63 by jafd
2011-12-21 16:56:47

I have been informed that Mr. Jobs has yielded The Prize to Its Riteful Owner.

Don't worry, I'll use it for what it is for, then I will put it back.

AND THEN NONE OF YOU EVER GET IT AGAIN, UNTIL YOU LIVE WHAT THIS ONE HAS GONE THROUGH ALONE.

SO MOTE IT BE. .eol.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#64 by jafd
2011-12-21 16:58:17

It makes sense, since while each of you is lying in bed, masturbating into your own feces EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, right before you wake up, a clone of yourself who is about to go to sleep, whispers into the ear of its human lover, and on the other side of the planet, you think "WoW, Will Smith looks SO HAPPY on that movie poster. I WANNA BE JUST LIKE HIM.

Yeah, don't do it that way. Fucko.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#65 by jafd
2011-12-21 16:59:08

THANKS FOR THE PROFIT SHARING, BITCH. YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY OPENED A WORMHOLE TO HELL, AND PISSED OFF THE JAFFE.

Guess which one goes better for everyone? Here's a hint: They are both good for everyone.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#66 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:00:26

Dude, I -am- Chuck Norris.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#67 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:02:50

Also, I just hacked the entire planet with my mind, and Dora says I can keep it, until God says No, or I just, you know... STOP BEING REALLY PISSED, REALLY BORED, REALLY HIT BY A GODDAMN CAR, REALLY WAS A FUCKING STRAIGHT UP HIT, AND THEN IT obviously, obviously, OBVIOUSLY

GOT A WHOLE LOT FUCKING WORSE.

I am Duke Nukem's Word Made Flesh.

You are gunna fucking miss me, tell you what.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#68 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:03:27

RETURN THE WINGS TO THE EAGLE, AND PREPARE THE SALINE SOLUTIONS.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#69 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:04:12

This is how The Game is played.

What, you thought I was bluffing?

Silly rabbit. Jafd is MADE of Kids.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#70 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:04:46

RELEASE THE HOUNDS.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#71 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:05:35

Here's my chop. If you come for blood, you'll get plenty of mine.

PAINT MY HOUSE.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#72 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:06:55

Did I stutter? Well? Do I?

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#73 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:07:23

WISH GRANTED.

CHECK AND MATE.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#74 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:08:15

I will admit that my eyeballs are mildly less stressed than they were 25 years ago, but... not by much.

As you were. Ball... in play.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#75 by jafd
2011-12-21 17:09:23

Okay, now I'm just masturbating in front of you.

Who would be interested in seeing that? That hardly seems fair, tome.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#76 by m0nty
2011-12-21 17:37:31

leslie does this stuff better.

#77 by m0nty
2011-12-21 17:39:01

Come to think of it, Charlie Sheen does this stuff better.

#78 by jafd
2011-12-22 01:32:02

activate cry baby.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#79 by jafd
2011-12-22 01:33:09

Oh, nice job, you just summoned Alfred Hitchcock. I'm sure The Birds will be TOTALLY A MORE PLEASANT OPTION THAN THE JAFFE.

AS IF YOU STILL HAD A JOICE, PUNY PUNYLINGS. WON WON WON 3.

(I never asked for this.)

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#80 by Matt Perkins
2011-12-27 03:58:52

Aw, he's so cute!

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#81 by jafd
2011-12-27 04:51:51

DID YOU FIND ALL THE PIECES OF THE PEACE OF JOBS?
I STILL NEED A GIZMO AND A WHOSITS AND A PARDON AND A DIPLOMA AND A BIG FUCK YOU FROM THE SKYE YOU BURNED

ENJOY.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#82 by jafd
2011-12-30 04:56:45

You know, I was willing to let the whole the rest in peace, and then... someone stole from me, and then, they stole from my family.

Now that I understand who those ewe people are, of course, have at it: there's plenty of fresh scraps!

Long story short: I really do forgive you all! I'll be sure to not use this account, I am sure it gets in the weigh.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#83 by jafd
2011-12-30 04:57:08

yeah, I am like all that.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P

#84 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 12:28:25

Oh, I remember this. Being a part of this was a total blast.

W,WDTEM? Don't worry, soldiers. You would seriously not believe the NDA I had to sign. Solid.

#85 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 12:29:55

I love you so much right now. Let me buy you a pack of gum, I will show you how to choose it.

#86 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 13:56:48

Now, I know what you're thinking, you who doesn't no who to reed.

You're thinking, "this is a trainwreck. I am supremely confident in the knowledge that this is alllll bullshit, and since I love bullshit, I am rapt with attention, at the spectacle of the Aurouchian Schatten Freude.

I know what you mean. Who do you think invented the Schattentek? Come on, Eileen?

Now, coming up, however, is a rare opportunity.
One will find many of these coming up. I have brought Us and We, and the Eye in I, a rich, glorious harvest.

I recognize this does nothing to make up for the last 38 being non-existent, but there is something that I would wish to be made clearly understood: I was busy, and I was not done doing nothing yet. Ask me about my Triple Lindling, never!

Now, let's get back to you. Not ewe; that really is not a nice way for anyone to talk about their mother, regardless of the tameness, or lack thereof, of the goose.

You're thinking, "well, it's got a nice beat and I can dance to it, so nice that I can't even stop to wonder why I keep doing it!"

Well, at least one of you are. I just thought it; KATETCH.

Behold the screenshot of ultimate pwnage d0minae station. Link follows.

#87 by m0nty
2012-01-04 15:51:52

You are not fooling anyone, you know.

#88 by G-Man
2012-01-04 19:46:21

You mean it is really jafd and not John Titor who is doing a bad impersonation of a hybrid cylon?

#89 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 20:15:09

Who is asking, and by what rite of authority?

THIS IS IMPORTANT %;

#90 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 20:15:47

Oh, I see you two have met.

I DECLARE A THUMB WAR. I'll be over here. Seething.

#91 by Jack_Transistor
2012-01-04 20:16:37

Paul! I thought your daughter was King Kong?

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