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Our long national nightmare averted - NFL season is on, fantasy football owners rejoice. And other sportsy topics.
August 2nd 2011, 21:32 CEST by Trunks

Sports thread for 2011-2012, at the very least given how long topics stick on the front page.
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Home » Topic: Our long national nightmare averted - NFL season is on, fantasy football owners rejoice. And other sportsy topics.

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#209 by lwf
2011-09-03 06:58:53
Probably about that.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.
#210 by Trunks
2011-09-03 07:08:21
Looks like my chat appeared in the draft log despite not being able to see anyone else. Stupid firewall.

#211 by Dethstryk
2011-09-03 10:59:23
jemartin@tcainternet.com
Cheesey forgot to conclude that I'm going to destroy everyone because I also have Antonio Gates in the mix.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#212 by Wudi
2011-09-03 20:18:10


Grade: F
Predicted record: 3-11


You are SO wrong.

Zep--

w0rd up!
#213 by Shadarr
2011-09-04 00:17:02
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
#206 by CheesyPoof

Shadarr has only one NFC starter on his team, and that’s 85 year old ex-Charger Tony Gonzales.

Ex-Chief.  And really?  Maybe I should've picked more Niners.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#214 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-04 00:34:39
That's right, my mistake. It was some afc west team.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#215 by Gabe
2011-09-04 23:19:01
http://www.dartpublishing.com
I enjoyed that Matthew said he liked the speed of the draft just fine and he was the one taking a ridiculous amount of time.
#216 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 02:21:54
The PCFFL Coach's Armchair -- 2011 Draft Grades, Addendum

I realize that I didn’t go far enough with my predicted records. Instead if waiting till the end of the season to see how horrible/off I was, why not plug them into the divisions and see how they shake out? Sounds like Fun! As an added bonus I get to extrapolate what my playoff predictions are. Woo, fun times!

Even More Predictions

FAVICON Division

BOS 11-3
ATX 9-5
NJ 7-7
DETH 5-9

DKI Division

ARI 6-8
UTA 6-8
PIT 3-11
POU 4-10


Joker Division
AUS 9-5
VAN (S) 9-5
SF 8-6
VAN (L) 8-6

Clearly my picks are way off with the whole Joker division being +12 and the DKI division at -18. I’m fairly certain that would be impossible without bouncing it off the schedule. Throw in the Favicon division at +8 and something is off. So it goes.

Anyway, I made up these bullshit numbers so I’m going to stand by them. Looking at the division standings I come up with these predictions for the playoffs:

BOS (bye)
AUS (bye or wildcard)
VAN (S) (bye or wildcard)
ARI (Div)
ATX (wildcard)
SF or VAN (L) (wildcard)

Since there are some ties in there, I bolded the guess at who will win the tiebreakers. Taking it an inch further I’ll make the following predictions:

PCFFL Bowl
BOS vs. SF

PCFFL Champion
BOS

OK, folks, there you have it. The whole PCFFL year mapped out for you, so no need to juggle your rosters and play the waiver wire.

Post General Shit

Shadarr is not looking great with that Manning pick in the second round. Better hope Kolb is for real.

Normally I’m pretty psyched for the Thursday night kickoff, but I’ll be extra psyched since Brees will be playing.

I really enjoy the double Monday night, too. 6 games to watch in full over the whole weekend. Each week should be like that.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#217 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:10:43
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
It's funny to me how the NFL still has the vast majority of its games in two timeslots. Next year in the Australian Football League, the weekly slate of nine games will go like this:

#1: Friday night, 7:50, live on free-to-air (FTA)
#2: Saturday afternoon: 1:45, live on pay TV
#3: Saturday afternoon: 2:10, live on FTA
#4: Saturday twilight: 4:10, live on pay
#5: Saturday night: 7:15, live on pay
#6: Saturday night: 7:40, live on FTA
#7: Sunday afternoon: 1:10, live on pay
#8: Sunday afternoon: 2:10, live on FTA
#9: Sunday twilight: 4:40, live on pay

No more than two games on at the same time. Maximises viewing time for the couch potato.
#218 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 06:14:30
Friday night is a night out, so that won't work. Saturday is college football day, so that doesn't work. This leave Sunday all day, Monday night and later on in the season Thursday night. I'd say do more double Mondays.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#219 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:17:36
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I think it would be healthier for all concerned if college football became a lot less popular. All the current cheating of the player payment rules is unseemly, there's too much money in it and the players get gypped. The NFL should muscle in on Saturday.
#220 by Chunkstyle
2011-09-06 06:20:00
Nah, College needs to stay popular so they can afford to develop the players for the NFL.  Otherwise the NFL would need to come up with a minor league, and when would they play?

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#221 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:21:25
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Minor leagues could play midweek.
#222 by Dethstryk
2011-09-06 07:32:18
jemartin@tcainternet.com
m0nty: They can't pull off schedules like that because of how annoying the market lockdowns work. I mean, for fuck's sake, they'll black a game out so you can't even watch it locally if they don't sell enough tickets.

The networks make me want to scream when it comes to watching football live. I have to resort to watching streams for most of the games I want because there's no other viable options.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#223 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 07:33:57
Redzone channel is your friend, well, not the real YF, but you know what I mean, for the fantasy footballer.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#224 by yotsuya
2011-09-06 08:09:50
Can't wait for the league to kickoff, bitches!

#225 by Trunks
2011-09-07 01:45:51
David Garrard let go by Jags apparently.

#226 by Trunks
2011-09-07 01:51:53
Also, Giants lose another defensive starter to a torn ACL, looks like Goff's out for the season.

#227 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-07 05:47:16
The Giants D/ST have no linebackers, mediocre secondary, but a pretty good line even with Umineora out for now. On the offense they have no TE, but other than that they're competent and will go as far as Eli will let them. I can see it being a long season or a fun one.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#228 by Dethstryk
2011-09-07 05:59:22
jemartin@tcainternet.com
Not to forget that Eli's interceptions have to regress to the mean this year, because that was just flukey last year.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#229 by Shadarr
2011-09-07 11:37:11
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
I don't really know what you mean by that because I don't care enough about Eli to know whether he threw a lot of INTs or a little, but no he doesn't.  Sometimes guys get better (or worse) later in their career.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#230 by Dethstryk
2011-09-07 14:24:48
jemartin@tcainternet.com
I'm not any kind of Eli Manning supporter. I just know he had an inflated INT stat through multiple faults of his receivers, not because he was making bad decisions.

This is off the top of my head, at least. It's been a while since I looked at it.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#231 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-08 21:04:07
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Opening day!

Everyone got their teams set up and ready? I assume lwf must be MIA because I haven't seen twenty trade requests go through...

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#232 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-09 04:31:14
Woo! Football!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#233 by jjohnsen
2011-09-09 07:01:37
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I joined a team with guys from work that is set up at Yahoo, and man that system is crap.  At least I got Drew Brees though.

#234 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-09 07:55:38
Heckuva kickoff, Brees, heckuva kickoff.

The game was pretty good, too.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#235 by m0nty
2011-09-09 08:44:45
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
-2 from the Saints D, woo title defence!
#236 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-09 08:52:55
And you were fortunate it was only -2!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#237 by yotsuya
2011-09-09 21:18:34
Rodgers kicked ass for me AND mOnty got screwed? Whoo!

#238 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-09 21:26:23
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
That was a fun opening to the season for sure.

With two more teams, there sure are a lot less free agents of worth sitting around. Going to make the trades and waiver wire pick ups very important this year.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#239 by Shadarr
2011-09-09 21:43:37
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
Yeah, you couldn't ask for a better game to start the season.  Tons of great plays AND it goes down to the last second.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#240 by Gabe
2011-09-10 19:41:05
http://www.dartpublishing.com
Heck, not even last second. The last play was with no time on the clock at all.
#241 by Shadarr
2011-09-11 11:46:08
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
Alright, time for this band of misfits and rejects to come together and win one for Peyton.  Maybe I should change my team name to the Colts.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#242 by Chunkstyle
2011-09-11 21:54:22
Go Bears!

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#243 by Trunks
2011-09-12 07:43:08
This Jets-Cowboys game has been one of the most hilariously bad NFL games I've ever seen.

#244 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-12 07:45:03
It was entertaining enough with the added bonus of the Cowboys losing.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#245 by Trunks
2011-09-12 07:47:50
That loss was all on Romo. And WTF at the end when the snap hit him.

#246 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-12 18:39:46
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
So...m0nty...Tate?

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#247 by Dethstryk
2011-09-12 18:42:17
jemartin@tcainternet.com
If BenJarvus stays quiet, I'm winning week 1. Take that, naysayers.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#248 by m0nty
2011-09-12 18:47:12
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
You want Tate, Perkins? Make an offer.
#249 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-12 20:47:31
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
You want Tate, Perkins? Make an offer.

Well...I don't have much, just a lot of could bes. I have Sanchez, Starks, Issac Redman, and Antonio Brown up for trade.

If I can't get Tate, I'll have to settle for whatever I can get on the waivers, which is nice, since it looks like there might be some gems out there, especially after week one.


Oh, and if somehow, the 'fins could keep Brady in check tonight, I'd REALLY appreciate that.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#250 by eggbert
2011-09-13 04:34:31
http://www.stuffresearch.com
If BenJarvus stays quiet, I'm winning week 1. Take that, naysayers.

Guh? I don't have BenJarvus, I have Welker and the Miami Kicker, and I need seven more points to tie.

And oh boy, now I have to figure out what to do with Steve Smith. Again. Offers?
#251 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-13 04:40:40
You don't want to start him?

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#252 by eggbert
2011-09-13 04:43:00
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Oh and damn you stat nerds. I lost the 100 yard rush bonus for Vick thanks to the kneel downs at the end of the game. I wouldn't have to sweat it if it wasn't for that.
#253 by Dethstryk
2011-09-13 05:11:28
jemartin@tcainternet.com
Yeah, said the wrong Pat since another league I'm just up against him.

But thanks Welker for giving me the death blow!

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#254 by Dethstryk
2011-09-13 15:36:10
jemartin@tcainternet.com
For fun, my playoff predictions. I'm bullish on the NFC North this year, except for one notable team... you know, mine.

AFC East : Patriots
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West : Chargers
AFC Wild : Jets, Steelers

NFC East : Eagles
NFC North: Packers
NFC South: Saints
NFC West : Rams
NFC Wild : Bears, Lions

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"
#255 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-13 21:41:45
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
The Pats took me down too. Brady got 41 points this week. Asshole.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#256 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-14 06:01:29
The PCFFL Coach's Armchair Week 1

Welcome back friends to the PCFFL Armchair. The rookies got a nice PCFFL welcome by losing their openers. This isn’t a game for the weak and timid. Post lockout, offenses ruled the roost for the most part, with some records being broken. Cam Newton set a rookie record with 400+ yards in a debut, Brady threw for 500+ and there were a 8 kicks returned for touchdowns. Ridiculous. Conventional wisdom is that it’ll take defenses another week or two to get to full steam so playing those D/STs will be a dice roll. Get your tums ready, it’s going to be a wild ride. On to the show.

Weekly Recap
NJ vs. BOS -- Brees (34), Hightower (10.5) and McFadden (13.5) oh my. Those three combined for 58 of the Devils’ 72.5 points in beating the Leet Doodz. Early season favorite Doodz didn’t get anything from QB Ryan (9) and will need him to step up. In a week that saw QBs throwing TDs left and right this has to be a concern for Boston. The top scorer for Boston was Miles Austin with 10.5 points (followed by K Folk at 10).

AUS vs. SF -- Poor, poor CGI Robots. It appears that they shot first and the not-a-Redbeards wiped the floor with them. Starting Schaub against the Manning-less Colts sounds like a great idea, but even though the Texas wiped the floor with them Schaub only got 6 points while Ryan Fitzpatrick’s 28 points sat on the bench. Take solace with the fact that it wouldn’t have been enough anyway to be the not-a-Redbeards and their weekly winning 107.5 points. m0nty had 3 players in the 20’s (Brees, McCoy and Tolbert) that would have been almost enough to beat the Robots. The commish has had a run of awful luck in recent years, so for all ours sake here’s hoping that it changes quick.

ATX vs. DETH -- The Arkansas TD’s entered Monday night leading the Blaha’s and had the pleasure of watching that lead evaporate into a blowout loss while watching Wes Welker scamper 99 yards for a score. Welkers 26 points led the Blaha’s and provided the welcome wagon for the TDs. Kenny Britt led the TDs with 24.5 points.

UTA vs. POU -- The TD’s weren’t the only team in the line of the Monday night buzzsaw as the Marinos were socked by QB Tom Brady and his 41 points that were almost half of the Teen Brides 97.5 point total. A 25 point led, while not a sure thing against Brady, must have felt comfortable. Instead it was a 15 point loss for the Marinos which spoiled a 28 point game from Matt “Glass Shoulder” Stafford.

PIT vs. ARI  -- It was awfully early for a Toilet Bowl, but this game was it as the Outlaws lucked out in facing the only team in the league they could have beaten this week. Big Ben’s Boners made a big boner of their own by making the rookie mistake of starting a QB (or any offensive stud) against their D/ST. It’s an inherently points limiting move which directly caused the Boners to lose. Consider this, if Big Ben threw 300 yard and 2 TD’s that would have been 22 points but the Raven’s D/ST would have been 0. Any turnovers offset each other and it’s a waste. Instead the Boners saw Flacco’s 22 points ride the pine. The Outlaws got luck autopicking Rodgers and got 30 points from him, but the rest of the team totaled 22 points which was only 6.5 better than the Boners. Both are going to have to improve next week if they want to avoid a long year in the PCFFL.

VAN-L vs. VAN-S -- Cripes, can either of these fuckers change their name? It was kinda-sorta-amusing when they were in different towns, but now is just annoying. The ElDubyaEff Rough Riders had two players in the 20’s (Ray Rice and Tony Romo) to lead them to a division win over crosstown rivals the Roughriders. The good news for the Roughriders is that Kolb appears to be for real as he led them with 23 points, but the bad news is that there isn’t anyone else on the team that can keep pace with him. Reggie Wayne somehow got 17 points in the drubbing aginst the Texans, and the only other player in double digits was the Jets D/ST.

Coach of the Week

This is an excruciating tough call to make, but one must recognize the Coach of the week regardless of one’s disposition. Therefore, I award this week’s award to the defending champion, m0nty of the not-a-Redbeards. Come on, lwf, lets not award this to m0nty next week.

Kotite of the Week

This week’s award goes to Wudi and Big Ben’s boners. The self limiting move to start a DST opposite a QB suppressed their score to no only a losing total, but the lowest team in the league. Switching out Big Ben for Flacco would have given the Boners the win. Hopefully this will be a lesson learned for the rookies in the league.

A Look Ahead

Good old week 2 in the NFL. Maybe we’ll see a return to normalcy for DSTs. It’s doubtful the Pats will see 600+ yards of total offense next week.

The game of the week sees the mortal enemies Rough Riders facing the not-a-Redbeards.

General Shit

I can’t believe that my Giants lost to Washington. Yea, the Redskins were due, but 300+ yards to Rex Grossman (a PCFFL free agent BTW)? Cripes. I hope some of the defensive starters come back.

It was glorious to see the Cowboys self implode and blow the game to the Jets. The sad part was that Romo’s performance most reminded me of Eli Manning.

I’m glad for the Bills. I hope they do well, but it’s a tough division.

I heard on the radio today that kicksoffs resulted in ~50% of touchbacks. I have to wonder how many injuries this will reduce. I’m not sure it’s going to be that many to be worth it. Might as well put the ball on the 20. In Denver they were kicking it through the uprights.

The Marino’s needed to pay attention to the injury report for Foster, but it didn’t hurt them in the end.

Robert Mecham is the leader for the diamond in the first cut (best player taken in the last round of the draft) with 9.5 points (earned for the Marino’s bench).

I figure the diamond in the rough will be the highest scoring free agent, if I can figure that out easy enough later on.

First DST taken in the draft, the Steelers (autopicked for the Outlaws), scored a whopping -7 points.

The Falcon’s DST scored more points (7) being whipped by the Bears than the Patriots DST did in whipping the Dolphins (0) (both owned by the Devils).

No bench outscored their starters, but in the Toilet Bowl both the Boner’s and Outlaw’s bench scored 1 point less than the starters.

I'm considering a Power Rankings section. Sure, sportsline has one, but it doesn't have enough 'gut' or 'heart' in their tabulations.
tl;dr

m0nty sucks, everyone try to beat m0nty.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#257 by Shadarr
2011-09-14 06:08:31
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
I can change my team to the BC Roughriders, if it's really annoying people.

So much for the RBs being the strength of my team.  When did Jamaal Charles become such a pussy?

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#258 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-14 06:37:52
It's certainly annoying to me since the only difference is a space, but I suppose it's all part of the joke.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
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