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	Our long national nightmare averted - NFL season is on, fantasy football owners rejoice. And other sportsy topics. August 2nd 2011, 21:32 CEST by Trunks Sports thread for 2011-2012, at the very least given how long topics stick on the front page.

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Home » Topic: Our long national nightmare averted - NFL season is on, fantasy football owners rejoice. And other sportsy topics.

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#178 by lwf
2011-09-02 02:30:01

I think the order should be:

McBain
Yot
Perkins
Trunks
lwf
Deth
Zep
shadarr
cheesy
eggy
jj
m0nty

This is based on playoff progression (winner's bracket) and standings (loser's bracket, for teams with equal records, the team with the lowest points scored gets the higher draft spot). Does that sound right?

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#179 by lwf
2011-09-02 02:38:15

Or is it only the finalists that get bumped to the back regardless of record?

I'm freakin' out here.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#180 by lwf
2011-09-02 02:41:26

Just gonna keep going... It looks like in 2009 we went based all on record except the champ and runner up got last picks. I think next year we should do a lottery for the first 5 picks.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#181 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-02 03:01:04

lwf

The order was defined above. Was that so bad?

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#182 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-02 03:09:16

I played m0nty in the finals, so I'm not sure what pot lwf was smoking.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#183 by Dethstryk
2011-09-02 03:11:33

Three hours, suckers.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"

#184 by lwf
2011-09-02 03:16:15

How do you explain this post then, Cheesy? And this one?

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#185 by McBain
2011-09-02 03:49:13

LWF, I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you're trying to show us.

"The buyer of a [credit default swap] does not need to own the underlying security or other form of credit exposure; in fact the buyer does not even have to suffer a loss from the default event." WHEEEE!

#186 by lwf
2011-09-02 03:54:26

That JJ and m0nty played each other in the finals.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#187 by lwf
2011-09-02 03:58:01

Sorry guys I meant to link to these two posts, first where cheesy laments not making the final, and next where JJ laments losing to m0nty a day after the season had ended.

http://www.planetcrap.com/topics/1229/962/#comments
http://www.planetcrap.com/topics/1229/970/#comments

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#188 by lwf
2011-09-02 04:00:31

Smoking gun. In your face cheesy! Now you get a higher pick! Ha!

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#189 by McBain
2011-09-02 04:07:53

Ah... that clears it up.

#190 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-02 04:09:52

Fucking hell. I could have sworn I was in the final. How could I have lost to the Teen Brides? Bah! I'll just take some more of that crack I was smoking.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#191 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-02 04:51:44

OH boy, Trunks just 'fixed' it. Oh noes, I'm messing up our draft.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#192 by Trunks
2011-09-02 04:52:56

I'm in the middle of fixing it. If I remember right, the end of the draft should be based on the finals, the rest were based on record.

PlanetCrap Fantasy Football League Commish

#193 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-02 09:58:42

I'm really digging my draft. It could be really good. It could also nose dive. Whatever it is, it'll be a fun season. Fun to have most everyone there for the draft.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#194 by Wudi
2011-09-02 14:37:34

2 hours? Seriously...you dicks taking the full 2 minutes every round need to stop that shit for next year. *RAGE*

Zep--

w0rd up!

#195 by Shadarr
2011-09-02 21:15:00

I don't like my draft, but I guess they could win me over.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle

#196 by jjohnsen
2011-09-02 23:29:08

Sorry I didn't make it, work came up.

Johnsen Family
Planetcrap Flickr Group

#197 by jjohnsen
2011-09-02 23:29:35

Wow, I didn't even remember I was in the finals last years. You guys suck.

Johnsen Family
Planetcrap Flickr Group

#198 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-03 01:48:53

I liked the speed of our draft just fine. Also, this will be Stafford's year, I feel it! (/me prays)

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#199 by lwf
2011-09-03 01:54:39

Zep managed to take less time than anyone drafting, including the autopilots.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#200 by Shadarr
2011-09-03 02:10:10

He also drafted the Cardinals' third string TE so y'know, different people have different priorities.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle

#201 by Dethstryk
2011-09-03 02:43:11

I was pretty quick, but that's because I'm a machine ready to crush this league with my pectoral lasers.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"

#202 by lwf
2011-09-03 02:51:15

Your team is pretty good. You fucking ganked Ryan Grant from me. I hope he loses a knee.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#203 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-03 03:10:05

I had JJ auto pick something away from me. It sucks. I draft pretty quick too. I wonder if sportsline has time on the clock as a stat?

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#204 by lwf
2011-09-03 04:10:40

if you go to draft results it totals in the last round

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#205 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-03 04:21:50

Yes, I see that.

I am editing an Armchair!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#206 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-03 05:18:19

The PCFFL Coach's Armchair -- 2011 Draft Grades

It’s that time of year where the days start to shorten and hurricanes terrorize the eastern half of the Unites States. This can mean only one thing, that fantasy football is back upon us. Welcome friends back to the PCFFL Coach’s Armchair. I hope that you all had a fine offseason. Even though the future of the NFL was in doubt, the state of the PCFFL has never been stronger. For the first time since the 2007 season we had some expansion adding two new franchises to the league, the Arkansas TDs and the Zep Zepo Big Ben’s Boners. Good luck to the both of you, and don’t worry, no punches will be pulled in the Armchair for either of you. Not only was the league strong enough to add two new teams, but it was the best attended draft in, well, ever that I can remember. Only the Teen Brides and perennialy absent Outlaws failed to show up. Of course, that meant the damn thing took two hours to run, but such is life. This year I’ll be predicting each teams regular season records along with the grades. That should be more fun to laugh at the end of the season. Without further ado, on to the grades.

Draft Grades

Boston Leet Doodz -- Last years sad sack picked first, naturally, and they selected Adrian Peterson with the first overall pick. With Chris Johnson signing the day before and that cloud of uncertainty removed, this was a homer pick. Toss in Matt Ryan and Dwayne Bowe and this team has promise. They probably won’t be picking first next year.
Grade: B-
Predicted record: 11-3

The Poulsbo Marinos -- Oh, Poulsbo! At least you’re coaching from the Pac-NW and not the hells of Florida. Eschewing the healthy, though late to camp, Chris Johnson, the Marino’s selected the lame Arian Foster with the second overall pick. Throw in Matt Stafford at QB, and Frank Gore at RB this team is going to spend more time recuperating than playing. Good luck, you’ll need it.
Grade: PUP
Predicted record: 4-10

Arizona Outlaws -- Anytime the Arizona Outlaws don’t lead off the PCFFL with a D/ST pick it’s a positive. Maybe it’s better that the coach doesn’t attend. As usual the Outlaws auto-picked and were handed Aaron Rodgers with the first pick. It looks like CBS took the time to improve their auto-picker this year, instead of 5 kickers rounding out their bench the Outlaws have 4 TEs.
Grade:  D-
Predicted record: 6-8

San Francisco CG Robots -- The commish was picking from work which almost conspired to fuck up their draft with blocked firewall ports. They stole Chris Johnson with the 4th overall pick, and lucked out getting Greg Jennings, but then it was downhill from there with Schaub at QB (no really, this is the Texans year) and headcase Brandon Marshall at WR. Picking the Eagles D/ST was a shrewd move, though.
Grade: C++
Predicted record: 8-6

Austin Blahas -- The Blahas took QB Michael Vick with their first pick of the draft as all the big name RBs were off the board, so they took the best running QB. Hopefully for the Blaha’s he doesn’t get injured (though hopefully for me, he does). A bunch of journeymen round out Blaha’s squad.
Grade: B-
Predicted record: 9-5

Arkansas TDs -- Rookie owner Dethstryke led off his draft by picking Andre Johnson of the Texans, a sensible pick among a bunch of ersatz ones. This is a team that is either going to blow the doors off everyone each week, or get theirs blow off. TB QB Josh Freeman? Lions D/ST? Gutsy, but also stupid.
Grade: D
Predicted record: 5-9

Pittsburgh Big Ben’s Boners -- This team should have been named Big Ben’s Homer as Wudi wasted his first ever PCFFL pick on Big Ben himself. Maybe we will be calling this Wudi’s boner by the end of the year. If that wasn’t enough Wuid stunned the PCFFL by picking Madden 12 cover boy Peyton Hillis with a second round pick. Three other PIT players are on this squad to round out the homer tag. The last time a team picked like this were the PA Don’t Tase Me Bros which, unsurprisingly, folded after the 2009 season.
Grade: F
Predicted record: 3-11

Shadarr Vancouver Roughriders -- The Roughriders picked Jamaal Charles with their first pick. I’d have preferred if they spent a pick on changing their name to something unique. Oh, well. The Roughriders made a small gamble when they picked P. Manning as their QB in the second round. This isn’t a team that excites you, and it doesn’t even excite their coach.
Grade: B(oring)
Predicted record:  9-5

ElDubyaEff  Vancouver Rough Riders -- The Rough Riders spend the draft drinking wine and pouring over draft charts and for what? The likes of Tony Romo, Marshawn Lynch, Donovon McNabb and Ricky Williams. The coaches waited for that? We can only hope that there will be 20 minutes of crying defending the Romo pick when ElDubyaEff exits the playoffs.
Grade: D
Predicted record: 8-6

Jersey Devils -- The Devils picked Drew Brees first, an almost too comfortable of a pick to make. They then followed that up with such milquetoast picks like WAS RB Hightower, OAK RB McFadden and SEA TE Miller. The only other stud on the starting lineup is Vincent Jackson. Good luck with that waiver wire.
Grade: C-
Predicted record: 7-7

Utah Teen Brides -- Autopick, autofail. The only failure bigger than not showing up to the PCFFL is almost letting someone usurp your draft position. Almost. The auto-picker gave them only 3 TEs on the bench.
Grade: F
Predicted record: 6-8

Down Under Redbeards -- Internet CEO and Aussie Rules Fantasy Football Mogul and defending PCFFL champion m0nty made the final first round pick in the 2011 draft with Philip Rivers. Not a bad move at all. Once again the Not-a-Redbeards invested money in a PDF of draft analysis for their draft. You can’t argue with the results, but this is the PCFFL where it would be more honorable to steal lunch money from mentally challenged kids.
Grade: B-
Predicted record: 9-5

General Shit

Word around the leagues is that the Boston Leet Doodz are looking for a new stadium deal and that this might be their last year in Boston. I hear Minnesota has a stadium, but look out for when it snows.

The Poulsbo Marinos took the most time spending 22 minutes 15 seconds on their picks.

Wudi was the fastest coach spending 1 minute 55 seconds, which was even faster than the auto-picker for the Teen Brides or Outlaws (2 minutes).

m0nty, who had the forgivable distraction of his million dollar negotiation, managed to pick faster than 4 other coaches (Vancouver, Vancouver, Austin and Poulsbo).

Shadarr has only one NFC starter on his team, and that’s 85 year old ex-Charger Tony Gonzales.

Sure, the Big Ben’s Boners don’t have any NFC players starting, but that’s not worth pointing out since they’re a high functioning retarded person.

Not that anyone should need reminding, but get your rosters set for the season start on the 8th.

The Poulsbo Marinos swing the other way with only 2 AFC starters on their team.

Last year with a 10 team league we had 4 auto-pickers. Clearly the Thursday night before the season start may be a good day to pick and not the holiday weekend like years prior.

I tried to sanity check my predicted records math, but it may be a bit off. That’s OK, the Armchair isn’t a rigorous analysis.

tl;dr

PCFFL is thriving, everyone sucks.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#207 by Matt Perkins
2011-09-03 05:27:36

I did take a long time to pick didn't I.... Also, my team has extreme potential and a mess of guts. We got this bad boy.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients

#208 by Trunks
2011-09-03 06:56:51

So if we cut the draft timer to 1 min, the draft will take half as long right?

PlanetCrap Fantasy Football League Commish

#209 by lwf
2011-09-03 06:58:53

Probably about that.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.

#210 by Trunks
2011-09-03 07:08:21

Looks like my chat appeared in the draft log despite not being able to see anyone else. Stupid firewall.

PlanetCrap Fantasy Football League Commish

#211 by Dethstryk
2011-09-03 10:59:23

Cheesey forgot to conclude that I'm going to destroy everyone because I also have Antonio Gates in the mix.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"

#212 by Wudi
2011-09-03 20:18:10

Grade: F
Predicted record: 3-11

You are SO wrong.

Zep--

w0rd up!

#213 by Shadarr
2011-09-04 00:17:02

#206 by CheesyPoof

Shadarr has only one NFC starter on his team, and that’s 85 year old ex-Charger Tony Gonzales.

Ex-Chief. And really? Maybe I should've picked more Niners.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle

#214 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-04 00:34:39

That's right, my mistake. It was some afc west team.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#215 by Gabe
2011-09-04 23:19:01

I enjoyed that Matthew said he liked the speed of the draft just fine and he was the one taking a ridiculous amount of time.

#216 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 02:21:54

The PCFFL Coach's Armchair -- 2011 Draft Grades, Addendum

I realize that I didn’t go far enough with my predicted records. Instead if waiting till the end of the season to see how horrible/off I was, why not plug them into the divisions and see how they shake out? Sounds like Fun! As an added bonus I get to extrapolate what my playoff predictions are. Woo, fun times!

Even More Predictions

FAVICON Division

BOS 11-3
ATX 9-5
NJ 7-7
DETH 5-9

DKI Division

ARI 6-8
UTA 6-8
PIT 3-11
POU 4-10

Joker Division
AUS 9-5
VAN (S) 9-5
SF 8-6
VAN (L) 8-6

Clearly my picks are way off with the whole Joker division being +12 and the DKI division at -18. I’m fairly certain that would be impossible without bouncing it off the schedule. Throw in the Favicon division at +8 and something is off. So it goes.

Anyway, I made up these bullshit numbers so I’m going to stand by them. Looking at the division standings I come up with these predictions for the playoffs:

BOS (bye)
AUS (bye or wildcard)
VAN (S) (bye or wildcard)
ARI (Div)
ATX (wildcard)
SF or VAN (L) (wildcard)

Since there are some ties in there, I bolded the guess at who will win the tiebreakers. Taking it an inch further I’ll make the following predictions:

PCFFL Bowl
BOS vs. SF

PCFFL Champion
BOS

OK, folks, there you have it. The whole PCFFL year mapped out for you, so no need to juggle your rosters and play the waiver wire.

Post General Shit

Shadarr is not looking great with that Manning pick in the second round. Better hope Kolb is for real.

Normally I’m pretty psyched for the Thursday night kickoff, but I’ll be extra psyched since Brees will be playing.

I really enjoy the double Monday night, too. 6 games to watch in full over the whole weekend. Each week should be like that.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#217 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:10:43

It's funny to me how the NFL still has the vast majority of its games in two timeslots. Next year in the Australian Football League, the weekly slate of nine games will go like this:

#1: Friday night, 7:50, live on free-to-air (FTA)
#2: Saturday afternoon: 1:45, live on pay TV
#3: Saturday afternoon: 2:10, live on FTA
#4: Saturday twilight: 4:10, live on pay
#5: Saturday night: 7:15, live on pay
#6: Saturday night: 7:40, live on FTA
#7: Sunday afternoon: 1:10, live on pay
#8: Sunday afternoon: 2:10, live on FTA
#9: Sunday twilight: 4:40, live on pay

No more than two games on at the same time. Maximises viewing time for the couch potato.

#218 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 06:14:30

Friday night is a night out, so that won't work. Saturday is college football day, so that doesn't work. This leave Sunday all day, Monday night and later on in the season Thursday night. I'd say do more double Mondays.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#219 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:17:36

I think it would be healthier for all concerned if college football became a lot less popular. All the current cheating of the player payment rules is unseemly, there's too much money in it and the players get gypped. The NFL should muscle in on Saturday.

#220 by Chunkstyle
2011-09-06 06:20:00

Nah, College needs to stay popular so they can afford to develop the players for the NFL. Otherwise the NFL would need to come up with a minor league, and when would they play?

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.

#221 by m0nty
2011-09-06 06:21:25

Minor leagues could play midweek.

#222 by Dethstryk
2011-09-06 07:32:18

m0nty: They can't pull off schedules like that because of how annoying the market lockdowns work. I mean, for fuck's sake, they'll black a game out so you can't even watch it locally if they don't sell enough tickets.

The networks make me want to scream when it comes to watching football live. I have to resort to watching streams for most of the games I want because there's no other viable options.

\"Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you\'ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.\"

#223 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-06 07:33:57

Redzone channel is your friend, well, not the real YF, but you know what I mean, for the fantasy footballer.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

#224 by yotsuya
2011-09-06 08:09:50

Can't wait for the league to kickoff, bitches!

52 Weeks and Something's On Movie Blog

#225 by Trunks
2011-09-07 01:45:51

David Garrard let go by Jags apparently.

PlanetCrap Fantasy Football League Commish

#226 by Trunks
2011-09-07 01:51:53

Also, Giants lose another defensive starter to a torn ACL, looks like Goff's out for the season.

PlanetCrap Fantasy Football League Commish

#227 by CheesyPoof
2011-09-07 05:47:16

The Giants D/ST have no linebackers, mediocre secondary, but a pretty good line even with Umineora out for now. On the offense they have no TE, but other than that they're competent and will go as far as Eli will let them. I can see it being a long season or a fun one.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.

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