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Hell Hath Frozen Over... Could it be true? A Duke Nukem Forever teaser from 3DRealms?
December 19th 2007, 16:15 CET by OmegaFoRCe Long long ago, in a Crap far, far away, there were Crappers making fun of 3DRealms and their seemingly unending development cycle of Duke Nukem Forever. Could the legends of a real video game actually be true? And behold - the word of legend: http://forums.3drealms.com/vb/showthread.php?t=29639 Last Saturday we had our annual company Christmas party. It was a lot of fun as usual but it featured one special surprise. It turns out that several people had been secretly working late nights and into the wee hours of the morning preparing a special video for those at the party. They created a short teaser for Duke Nukem Forever.
After seeing the teaser we thought it was something we should share with all of you and while it's just a teaser, rest assured more is coming. Tomorrow, Wednesday the 19th, around noon CST, we will release the first teaser trailer from Duke Nukem Forever. To tide you over until then, here is a screen shot taken from the teaser. Thank you for being fans of the game and for your continued patience. I'd like to thank the people on the team that worked so hard to create this teaser and the friends of 3DR that helped create it (Jeremy Soule and Julian Soule, Frank Bry, Jason Evigan and of course, Jon St. John). |
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Topic: Hell Hath Frozen Over... Could it be true? A Duke Nukem Forever teaser from 3DRealms?
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It's possible that they could pull a TF2 where it's revealed that no, really, we scrapped the original design a while back and have been working diligently on this new kick ass project for years Haven't they done this a couple times already? |
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Should be linked. |
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There are no fanbois more hilariously slavish than 3DR fanbois. Yeah, they're even worse than Heroes fanbois. You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religions. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, intelligent enough. --Aldous Huxley
DVDs |
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I like how every GTA game and every Sims game has been released since DNF entered development. Plus the Mars rover thing and the moon landing thing, of course. "I don't like story in games." - Soren Johnson
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You guys are mean. Game development is hard. Extremely hard. Harder than putting a rover on mars. That's some hard shit! "Thug means never having to say you're sorry." - UTurn
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I bet if 3DR had the budget that NASA had for the Mars mission... Broussard would have died already. |
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The trailer is out-all the mirrors are hosed though. Q'apla!
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Trailer. As bad as expected. |
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Is there a release date in the final frame? Or "Early April fools!"? GET IN THE VAN I GOT CANDY
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Looks like somebody went overboard with the normal mapping. Fanplastic. Any game where competence can be measured by the amount of clicks per minute is not a strategy game.
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I am ockshed and gasterflabbed, seriously whatever will we do for t3h j0kes? "But I don't exist in your world!" "Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you."
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Looks pretty weak alright, but then again this was never the game I expected absolutely stunning visuals from. Keep the action fast and straightforward (sort of like Serious Sam, but with fewer 'hilarious' monsters) and it might not suck completely. #10 - Why not both come out of a window?
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Ouch. Beter give it another 10.5 years, 3DR. "I've always viewed masturbation as a pretty positive thing."
- Warren Marshall |
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It's not horrible, but nothing great, so I give it a meh. <Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
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I don't know, the one-liners only server to remind me how long ago 1996 was. If they're trying to make Duke3D with better graphics, they've obviously not learned much in 10 years. "I've always viewed masturbation as a pretty positive thing."
- Warren Marshall |
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I hope to get a Dum review of the trailer. <Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
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Oh yeah. Also, DNF trailer took longer to ship than MS Vista, and that has been re-coded from scratch two times. |
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Wow, that was awful. And it's strange how the Duke model is a bigger meaner more-ripped badass than ever and yet his voice actor sounds more than ever like a pitiful teenaged geek. "I don't like story in games." - Soren Johnson
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The new Zero Punctuation is good though. "I don't like story in games." - Soren Johnson
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I concur, definitely one of the better ZPs. MP3 Of The Week: [Insert now-traditional late message here]
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I think the 3DR team is more worried about the graphics than they really need to be... as shown by their constant engine switching. I have no faith DNF will be any good...nothing could live up to the expectations, but they really ought to be thinking gameplay instead of kickass redneck. "Thug means never having to say you're sorry." - UTurn
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If they're trying to make Duke3D with better graphics, Come now, they could do a lot worse (and will, I'm afraid). #10 - Why not both come out of a window?
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I have no faith DNF will be any good...nothing could live up to the expectations What expectations? I have no faith DNF will be any good because the game industry has advanced in the last 11 years, and this video just confirms that 3DR hasn't. Like Bob said, the voice work made that one-liner sound like self-parody, and I don't think that's what they were going for. |
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You know, that's what they should do. They should make the game a complete parody of the FPS genre in general and of their own escapades in specific. It's the only way out at this point. |
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Shadarr Maybe not expectations, but something to validate the time spent. As for what they can do to get out of this with smiles all around...they can't. "Thug means never having to say you're sorry." - UTurn
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I'll play it. Prey wasn't bad after 10 years. Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
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I'd disagree with that. But even if you don't, you have to agree that it was a disappointment. "I don't like story in games." - Soren Johnson
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What the shit? That is horrible! Yeah yeah screen shots ain't everything, so we'll wait and see. That trailer really had some outright shit though, the god awful cheesy one liner for one. The action in places looked kinda SiN/f.e.a.r.-esque, but maybe 3D Realms can do a proper job instead of those pieces of garbage. I still have hopes it'll be cool (I have my reasons), but I'll concede that my hope isn't really anchored in reality at this point. Best of luck to the 3DR guys heh. "I'm not even angry / I'm being so sincere right now."
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The words "F.E.A.R." and "garbage" are not compatible. GET IN THE VAN I GOT CANDY
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SiN/f.e.a.r.-esque You better be meaning SiN:Episodes there. #10 - Why not both come out of a window?
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gaggle voices his laughable "opinions" once again. Just be glad you aren't him. You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religions. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, intelligent enough. --Aldous Huxley
DVDs |
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Well tonight thank God it's him instead of yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu... |
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:Episodes, yes, of course. Thinking Fear is a good game is kinda wrong, but it's obviously nowhere near as bad as SiN. Just kinda samey and warehousy, and it happened to pop to mind as I was writing the post. "I'm not even angry / I'm being so sincere right now."
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fear sucked. and so did nolf. Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration. "I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka PAY ATTENTION, YA FUKKAN MORANS. WILL SUCK COCK FOR A Canon EOS-1Ds Mark III. |
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Ain't gonna happen, ever. Media blitz = pathetic attempt to revive lost reputation. I remember clear back when, when the first "supposed" picture of this game was released in a PC game mag. It was a jeep that looked high-centered, I think...I believed it then. This is all complete bullshit, because Broussard spent all their company funds at Carl's Jr. |
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Well shit. The trailer was rather craptastic. I guess that's what happens when "several people had been secretly working late nights and into the wee hours of the morning preparing a special video". I'm all for generating hype, but come on guys. Don't release something that looks like ass - keep it in house until there is something that properly reflects the game that you are still apparently working on. That is, unless this teaser is a true reflection of a game that has been in development for over 10 years. If that is the case, well, good luck. You're going to need it. |
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Found this link from Blue's News: Duke Nukem Forever trailers through the ages |
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Watching that old 2001 preview I first thought "Man that looks crappy", then thought that it reminded me of those old Bethesda Terminator games. Which I thought were amazing at the time. I guess graphics do matter. Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
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I saw 2001 when it was first released, and it was incredible. It introduced me to the abstract, and the metaphysical. But a stupid, slovenly, lazy-assed pack of 3Drealms liars won't even touch that. |
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Gotta love the idea of someone working late nights so they can get that trailer out on the market SUPER FAST...after 10 years. Guys, you can take a little longer if it means the trailer will look better. At this point, no one's going to care if you spent an extra weekend or two (or 50) on it. Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 203 lbs. 23 to go. |
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Maybe they didn't make this year's Wired vapourware piece and felt that they needed to generate some more hype? |
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Dingle (#64): the abstract Young Dingle: "What is DNF's release date?" and the metaphysical Young Dingle: "Does DNF exist?" |
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You know what's funny, they stress in that trailer an image of a totally ripped, muscular Duke, but if the game is done right, you should never see that model at all (cutscenes, anybody?). |
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The model was a little bit disturbing to be honest, it makes it look like Duke has varicose veins or blood pressure issues or something. Although I guess it isn't too unthinkable given what his age must be by now. Of course the rather scatological catchphrase was more disturbing, but the less said about that the better. MP3 Of The Week: Ernie K-Doe - Here Come The Girls.mp3 (?)
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The Mitchell Report into DNF will be like 3000 pages. |
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He looks like a over-the-hill bodybuilder. |
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I heard Duke is going to take Bonds' place on the Giants this season. |
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I thought I caught a glimpse of some dose with steroids or something. He looked terrible. Anyway... what was the demographics of DN fanbois back when DN3D was popular? Since I was an early teenager, most fans I've seen were teenagers (I was more into Quake demo). If they were really the majority of DN-lovers, they're probably mostly over 25. Ten years back, oneliners about laying bricks and cutscenes picturing peeing on decapitated aliens were funny to them. But now? I agree with the idea they could have semi-successful game if they'd make fun of themselves and repeated jokes on topic of "it's done when it's done" and "I'm working on it" all over again. |
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All they have to do to gain fame among the current teenage generation is put boobies in the game. Worked for DN3D, where most of the b00b13z were even in teh shareware version. "I've always viewed masturbation as a pretty positive thing."
- Warren Marshall |
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#73 by assemblerer some |
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