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The 2006 PlanetCrap Trollie Awards.
January 31st 2007, 17:04 CET by CheesyPoof Only lagging the Oscars by a week or so, this isn't too late. M0nty is too lazy to do it proper so I'll do it, again. I took out the 'foreign' nonsense and made up some new categories. Have fun. PLANETCRAP DIVISION PlanetCrap's Worst Attempt At A Troll -- Wudi. Another poor effort this year to win again. PlanetCrap's Least Comprehensible Troll -- bago. Could go to none1a, but I say give it to bago so he has something positive to say about 2006. PlanetCrap's Most Pretentious Troll -- Marsh Davies. You could also consider Bago, but who else could wax so eloquently about a video game called Gears of War like it was a lost work of Chaucer? PlanetCrap's Best Multiclass Troll [e.g. Dev/Troll, Journo/Troll] - gaggle. Does he have taste in anything? PlanetCrap's Best Drama Queen Troll -- UncleJeet, we hardly could stand ya. Now you melted down and gone away. PlanetCrap's Best User of Cliches To Deflect Trolls -- Jibble (again). PlanetCrap's Best Cliche-spawning Troll -- I can't think of any new cliches. The best I could think of is Warren's "you're awesome" for bago, but it's not really turned into a cliche yet. PlanetCrap's Most Predictable Troll -- Your Friend. Ds comes back, and he calls him a stupid mick. So tired. PlanetCrap's Most Prolific & Persistent Troll -- The_Joker for last years TOTY thread. PlanetCrap's Spolier Troll -- Greg in a landslide. PlanetCrap's Best Annoying Troll -- This is the troll that gets under your skin. Any of BobJustBob, Jibble, G-Man, Hugin, Chris, Gabe, Greg, yotsuya and more, could win this category. It's wide open! PlanetCrap's Most Witty Troll -- chris. Dum has been off. Especially so since he got WoW. PlanetCrap's Most Convincing Conversion From Troll To Human - No one, again. This category will have to go away. PlanetCrap's Best New Troll/Lurker to Troll -- assembler. The only new person of note this year. PlanetCrap's Best Single Troll Post -- I don't know of any. PlanetCrap's Best Comeback Troll -- chris. Caryn and Gabe have a meet up with him, and he comes back. Hooray! TROLL OF THE YEAR PlanetCrap's Best Overall Troll -- M0nty. M0nty is far to modest to award the TOTY to Warren, but M0nty successfully trolled Joker into not posting for a month, and that deserves the top award. |
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Topic: The 2006 PlanetCrap Trollie Awards.
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The Boston police forgot one thing: no one cares enough about Boston to blow it up. :P -chris (I kid, I kid!) |
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The Philly media is playing lots of seething outrage because the lite brites are all over Philly, too. Talking about arrests, etc. It's just stupid. Turner told them where the "ads" were. Clean them up, and just move on. |^^^^^^^^^^^^ |||__
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One thing to remember here is that most police forces have a stanard procedure for dealing with unknown devices. That procedure is designed for maximum safty of the techs not quickly identifiying the device. That normally means figureing out if it's safe to move, detonating, then figureing out what you just blew up. Sure at times it results in silly things happening but it also prevents tech from being injured by thing that where never intended to harm anyone. For example these things could have been degisned to explode in a flash at the end of the campaign (which would have fit one of the shows running gags), something that wouldn't hirt the bridge or people but could prove very bad for a tech standing inches away studying the resistors. As for chargeing the people for it, I'd say if an ordinary citizen would be charge for the prank with out the bomb angle (I''m think causing a public nuisance would be likely) the marketers should be as well. Tuner and the marketing company should also be faceing fines from any sign code and approval process violations that took place. The marketers need to get a message that calling it marketing isn't a pass for breaking the law while pulling these stunts. The bomb angle on the other hand should be taken care of behind closed doors. |
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For example these things could have been degisned to explode in a flash at the end of the campaign (which would have fit one of the shows running gags) That's stretching it a bit, as I don't think any marketing firm would be dumb enough to put exploding advertisements (even of a very small variety) out in public. If they were dumb enough to do that, then they'd get what they deserved. They're blowing this out of proportion with "WHAT IF!" scenarios that have no bearing to the case at hand. I'd imagine you'd have a hard time getting a death penalty sentence if the prosecution's case was "Well, he got in a fight with the guy, but what if he had pulled out a gun and fired six rounds into his chest?! What if?! We need to teach this man a lesson!" Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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A few things: Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city. Again, why is someone being prosecuted on something that "could have" happened as the result of what wasn't actually done? Judge Paul K. Leary told Grossman that, according to law, the suspects must intend to create a panic to be charged with placing hoax devices. Ayup. No intent = charges don't stick. In a news conference, Rich told reporters he had advised his clients not to discuss the incident. Stevens and Berdovsky took the podium and said they were taking questions only about haircuts in the 1970s. See, this is what Tony Snow needs to do instead of saying "We have no comment on the pending investigation." When a reporter accused them of not taking the situation seriously, Stevens responded, "We're taking it very seriously." Asked another question about the case, Stevens reiterated they were answering questions only about hair and accused the reporter of not taking him and Berdovsky seriously. Reporters did not relent and as they continued, Berdovsky disregarded their queries, saying, "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry." Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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That's an awesome way to hold a press conference. |
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#103 by Jibble That's stretching it a bit, as I don't think any marketing firm would be dumb enough to put exploding advertisements (even of a very small variety) out in public. Maybe but the point is the techs don't know that going in or even that it's from a marketing firm. To deal with that possibility they have to treat it as an unknown device and follow the appropriate procedures, which in the case of as possible bomb means safely detonate it then figure out what the heck it was. To use your example if a cop where to walk in on the fight he's likely to be prepared to pull his gun on the off chance one of the men has a weapon. I'm not saying anyone should be charged on the basis of "omg possible bomb" that should be left to the fact they wheren't legaly placed to begin with. I'm still a bit iffy on if both the individuals and the companies should be charged. On one hand they are effectivly illegally placed signs which would usualy mean a fine and order to remove then, on the other hand individual penelties shouldn't extend beyond community service (so no major harm would be done) and marketers really need to get the idea that what amounts to graffiti isn't a valid marketing idea. |
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The funny thing about this is that the marketing firm will walk away from this having posted $3000 in bail. The lesson they learned: Make it look like a bomb and you'll get national media coverage for two days. Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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Enjoyable read on this whole thing. |
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That's a good take. - words and stuff -
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First, boy is it boring to read bloggers sniping at each other. Second: I can attest that here in the Land of the Cod, life proceeded on a more or less even and steady keel. Unless you tried to cross a certain bridge or pass by a certain landmark during a specific two-hour period yesterday In other words, he wasn't inconvenienced by it, so he doesn't think it was that big a deal. Way to play the "What are you people whining about, it's not that big a deal!" card while trying to scold someone...for using the "What are you people whining about, it's not that big a deal!" card. Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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It's a little smug and heavy-handed, but enjoyable nonetheless. -chris |
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Agreed. every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and it's your face I'm looking for on every street |
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Well written, if nothing else. every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and it's your face I'm looking for on every street |
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A little smug? I'd hate to see what a whole lotta smug looks like. |
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Jibble I think you're reading it wrong. He's not sniping. He's presenting the most level headed take I've seen on the situation yet. |
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It was damned inconvenient at rush hour, because the placement of the things inherently caused road shutdowns. Sullivan Square, where the first one was found, is a major public transit hub. But no, the city didn't shut down. |
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#110 by Jibble In other words, he wasn't inconvenienced by it, so he doesn't think it was that big a deal. Way to play the "What are you people whining about, it's not that big a deal!" card while trying to scold someone...for using the "What are you people whining about, it's not that big a deal!" card. Naw... I thought he was just responding to the hyperbole with which the situation was reported by the press - the way it was presented over here made it sound like that Boston was completely paralysed with terror, as opposed to being inconvenienced at a busy time of day. - words and stuff -
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That blogger is ass-ugly even hidden behind sunglasses and a hat. Therefore his opinion is worthless! YHBT. YHL. HAND
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None of this interests me. On the plus side, Sarah Silverman's show starts tonight. That interests me... a lot. |
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She's funny sometimes, but... Jesus is Magic was horrible. Painful to watch. Had to shut it off halfway through. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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What show is this? Even I know what crossing the Rubicon means, and I know fuck all about American history. -m0nty
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I'm going to London on Thursday for work. I'll be there a week. My hotel is right next to Victoria Station. Any suggestions on things to see and food that isn't awful would be much appreciated. World of Warcraft is a pie eating contest where the reward is more pie.
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You should bring some ATHF signs with you to London. They REALLY know how to overreact to terrorists threats there! and food that isn't awful would be much appreciated. McDonalds is pretty much your best bet for fine dining in the UK. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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It was damned inconvenient at rush hour, because the placement of the things inherently caused road shutdowns. Sullivan Square, where the first one was found, is a major public transit hub. One of the many amusing parts about this is that they were placed exactly where an advertisement should be placed if you're trying to go for the most eyeballs. High traffic, high impact spots around the city. Oh, and that guy is ridiculously smug. Of course, so are the rest of us. Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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Best response ever! The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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I was working from home yesterday so I didn't even hear about it. World of Warcraft is a pie eating contest where the reward is more pie.
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Oh god, that video is greatness. Somehow I'm not surprised that Fox kept them on the air that long. Gotta fill that time! TERROR ALERT! Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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McB - Cool. I don't know the kind of things you are into, or what you may have seen before. In terms of sight-seeing, I'd recommend checking out the bright lights of Leicester Square and Picadilly Circus, then maybe stroll from there down past the National Gallery, through Trafalgar Square, down Whitehall and to the Houses of Parliament. It's not a long walk but it knocks out about 5 or 6 landmarks in one go and gives you a good sense of the buzz and feel of London. That's my favourite area of the city. In terms of Things To Actually Do, you could catch a play (the area above is full of theatres) or a film (Leicester Square is where they hold the premieres in London and has some huge, but absurdly priced, screens). I'm not sure what else is on at the moment, but I know that there's a performance of Porgy and Bess that's got good reviews (at the Savoy Theatre). I'm hoping to get along to see that for my birthday on Tuesday. You should check out the Tate Modern for sure. It's in a nice area overlooking the Thames, and the building itself is fairly awesome, even if the stuff inside isn't your thing. It's free, too. St. Paul's, and many of the other churches around London, are well worth looking at as phenomenally beautiful pieces of architecture. As for food, I think Ergo's the one to advise you there. ;) It depends how much you want to spend, really. I baulk at anything over $20 a head, but if you are feeling fruity and want to splash out something in the region of $60, then you might do well to check out Rules restaurant which is in Maiden Lane, WC2. It's right in the heart of the city and is apparently one of the oldest restaurants, if not the oldest restaurant, in London. Dates back to 1798 a quick Google informs me. Oh look, a review. Actually it might be a good idea to have a look at the rest of the Guardian newspaper's picks for eateries. I'm sure their food editor can afford better meals than I can. There are a bunch of small restaurants that I rely on for decent and considerably cheaper food, but they all have generic continental sounding names and I will have to check up on their actual addresses for you. Belgo is a fairly cheap Belgian-style restaurant where you can get muscles and the like. Food For Thought in Covent Garden is a dirt cheap veggie restaurant that's pretty quirky and cool. Now. Pubs. You could check out the Horse and Groom, which is in Belgravia, very near to Victoria. Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (Fleet Street), and The Ship and Shovel (located in the amusingly named Craven passage, near Embankment) are two of my favourites. Fancy A Pint is a reliable source for finding good pubs in your postal code. Hope that helps, and that there isn't too much stuff to sift through here. I'm going down to London tomorrow, but I may have to come back to Cardiff about the time that you arrive. If it works out that I'm down there, I'd be happy to meet up and take you somewhere to eat/drink. - words and stuff -
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So apparently Microsoft has made Vista incompatible with iTunes; you can't authorize the computer to play tracks bought from the iTunes Store. Nice. Jean-Robert Bourdage ... Hot dog vendor
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#120 by Mister Nutty She's funny sometimes, but... Jesus is Magic was horrible. Painful to watch. Had to shut it off halfway through. What the hell are you talking about? Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore. -LP Johnsen Family
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Sarah Silverman's movie. I liked it. Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
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What the hell are you talking about? Sarah Silverman. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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Don't listen to Chunkstyle, it was dreadful. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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The standup was pretty funny for the most part. I like her. Hate Jimmy Kimmel. |
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Now one likes Kimmel though. Silverman is both extremely funny and very hot. That's a winning combination in my mind. |
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No, the Boston pd didnt over-react, a suspect device was reported and dealt with appropriately. In Ulster, 5-10 years ago, it would have been handled exactly the same way. Its not pussification, its not over-reaction, its dealing with something that has the potential to be nasty. 3-4 oz of semtex on the back of that board, wait til someone takes it down to 'trace the wires' and blow it in their face, instant dead bombsquad member. Or someone takes it home for their kids, sayonara fingers or kids. Suspect devices are not examined carefully, all up close and personal. You send a drone in with either a high pressure water cannon or a modified shotgun, and do your damndest to render the device harmless. Meanwhile you have the area cordoned off to a reasonable distance. The IRA put bombs in trash cans, phonebooths, carbombs, they put handgrenades in pintglasses and stuck them on open doors, they boobytrapped gates, put mortar launchers into the back of vans. Simply put, you dont take the fucking chance its harmless, because the one time you think 'eh its just a litebrite' some fucker is going to have it wired to a few lbs of commercial plastique and take some poor bastards head off. Its not holywood machismo at work, its not omg terrar Im gonna be a hero, its reacting to a potential threat in an appropriate fashion. Do you really think the rest of the fucking world hasnt had to deal with this shit for a while? Ask the germans about their various issues, or the french, or the fucking spaniards, then take a look at the bombs that have been set off in those countries. Take a moment to contrast how the rest of the world gets the fuck on with things compared to the US, then realise that its not about fighting terrorism, its politcal grandstanding by a worthless fuck who couldnt pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. America is being spoonfed bullshit about 'omg terrar' thats not even remotely akin to what its like, fucking hell people, the airport security that is utterly worthless, do you see Israeli airlines doing the same? how about any of those flying out of the middle east. No you fucking dont, and given the hijackings and take overs of the late 70s to mid 80s, you have to wonder, what the fuck are they doing different. Too much of America's response to the threat can be summed up as 'dont pay attention to the man behind the curtain', its phony, for show and utterly fucking worthless. That said, Id rather be stuck in traffic and delayed because of a false alarm, than have to deal with friends and relatives not coming home ever again. Car Bombs are the worst sort, was caught in the blast radius of one in the mid 80s, its abrupt, its out of nowhere and its fucking terrifying. Fortunately the worst I got from it was a pounding headache and some glass cuts to my arms (ps, Im a little cranky right now, excuse the diatribe) |
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See with a car bomb you can contain the potential mass required for an effective explosion. Those signs could parely pop if they were made of 1 d battery and 3 d batteries worth of C4. Barely the size of a claymore, and is not going to cause structural damage to steel, especially when the wave has to attenuate over several feet. Anti-personnel at best, shooting lite brite pegs instead of nails or steel fragments. The reason I harp on the structural potential is that part of the decision to elevate the terror threat level was the emplacement of the devices on on key structural points, like bridges. Shaped charges work because they focus the blast wave by shaping the charge to focus the shockwave. Having even a few inches of highly compressible air in the path of the shockwave will highly attenuate the wave, rendering the charge more and more useless at an exponential rate. If this was a terror attack, anyone even marginally competent should have realize the potential threat was about as large as the threat to take down the brooklyn bridge with butane torches. By overreacting in this manner you are only exposing a MAJOR weakness in your security system, namely that provoking overreactions you effectively paralyze the overall system with a much greater efficiency than you do by actually attacking it. A terrorist now only needs 10 dollars of wires, batteries and duct tape to shut down a city for a day, rather than actually need ing to know how to make explosives, or anything like that. This does not make anyone safer, except for the doltish goons who use this as a pretext to justify their expensive security services. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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Did you read the link I posted bago? Nobody over reacted. |
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uncovered; a vast network of bomb-making labs. Jean-Robert Bourdage ... Hot dog vendor
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You know what I love? How the (supposedly) knowledgeable, free thinkers out there who mock Boston's response have latched onto the "light brite" meme like goood little lemmings. I mean, FFS, bago. Right before your post there's a guy who has lived through what could have happened in Boston, and spent a good portion of his life in a country constantly under terrorist attacks, and you ramble on like he's not even there. Listen for once. |
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i don't think the PD overreacted, but everyone else sure has. Jean-Robert Bourdage ... Hot dog vendor
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bago? Listen? Hahahahahaha. Drow are elves but evil. And you know they are evil because of their black skin, and because they are run by women. --Foodbunny
DVDs |
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bago? Listen? Hahahahahaha. QFT Even I know what crossing the Rubicon means, and I know fuck all about American history. -m0nty
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Standard bomb disposal methods involving minimizing risk to the agents involved? Yes. What I provided was a specific refutation to stupid policy. I admitted that car bombs should follow such policies, because they are massive enough to convert energy to structurally threatening levels. My argument is that a 5lb bomb should not be treated the same way as a 200 lb bomb. It's a classic zero tolerance argument. If you are in the bomb disposal business and can't make that call, you are in the wrong business. Should a cop block all traffic for 10 blocks and put out an APB for jaywalking? No. For a guy armed with an AR-15 that just shot 5 people? Yes. If you can't make that distinction you shouldn't be a cop. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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Or, to cite the article Warren linked: their general attitude is that every time they mobilize and respond to something that turns out to be nothing, it makes them just a little bit better-prepared to deal with something that turns out to be something. To treat all somethings as the same thing is stupid. There was time for analysis. The analysis was flawed. I showed why it was flawed. Do want to argue with the analysis, or do you want to argue that there should be no analysis as soon as somebody says bomb? The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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It's awesome to hear from the law enforcement division of Microsoft. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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I think the police should blow up more advertising. MP3 Of The Week: The Surgens - Twisted Brain.mp3 (?)
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I'd be happy if they just blew up advertisers. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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I agree with bago. |
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