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The 2006 PlanetCrap Trollie Awards.
January 31st 2007, 17:04 CET by CheesyPoof Only lagging the Oscars by a week or so, this isn't too late. M0nty is too lazy to do it proper so I'll do it, again. I took out the 'foreign' nonsense and made up some new categories. Have fun. PLANETCRAP DIVISION PlanetCrap's Worst Attempt At A Troll -- Wudi. Another poor effort this year to win again. PlanetCrap's Least Comprehensible Troll -- bago. Could go to none1a, but I say give it to bago so he has something positive to say about 2006. PlanetCrap's Most Pretentious Troll -- Marsh Davies. You could also consider Bago, but who else could wax so eloquently about a video game called Gears of War like it was a lost work of Chaucer? PlanetCrap's Best Multiclass Troll [e.g. Dev/Troll, Journo/Troll] - gaggle. Does he have taste in anything? PlanetCrap's Best Drama Queen Troll -- UncleJeet, we hardly could stand ya. Now you melted down and gone away. PlanetCrap's Best User of Cliches To Deflect Trolls -- Jibble (again). PlanetCrap's Best Cliche-spawning Troll -- I can't think of any new cliches. The best I could think of is Warren's "you're awesome" for bago, but it's not really turned into a cliche yet. PlanetCrap's Most Predictable Troll -- Your Friend. Ds comes back, and he calls him a stupid mick. So tired. PlanetCrap's Most Prolific & Persistent Troll -- The_Joker for last years TOTY thread. PlanetCrap's Spolier Troll -- Greg in a landslide. PlanetCrap's Best Annoying Troll -- This is the troll that gets under your skin. Any of BobJustBob, Jibble, G-Man, Hugin, Chris, Gabe, Greg, yotsuya and more, could win this category. It's wide open! PlanetCrap's Most Witty Troll -- chris. Dum has been off. Especially so since he got WoW. PlanetCrap's Most Convincing Conversion From Troll To Human - No one, again. This category will have to go away. PlanetCrap's Best New Troll/Lurker to Troll -- assembler. The only new person of note this year. PlanetCrap's Best Single Troll Post -- I don't know of any. PlanetCrap's Best Comeback Troll -- chris. Caryn and Gabe have a meet up with him, and he comes back. Hooray! TROLL OF THE YEAR PlanetCrap's Best Overall Troll -- M0nty. M0nty is far to modest to award the TOTY to Warren, but M0nty successfully trolled Joker into not posting for a month, and that deserves the top award. |
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Topic: The 2006 PlanetCrap Trollie Awards.
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urk! Also, yes, blurring of middle fingers is mandatory. Think of the children! |
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OMG IT HAS BATTERIES AND A RED WIRE!!! JUST LIKE THE BOMBS I SAW ON THAT TV MOVIE OF THE WEEK!!! TERRORISMS!! Goddamn, what a fucking nation of DUMB PUSSIES we're turning into. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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the blurred it on the front page, but not if you actually read the article. There you see it lit up and with the middle finger. Also, does not look like a bomb. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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Ahh, news. Only offensive if you read past the headline...which means 99% of Americans won't be offended...and the other 1% are smart enough not to care. Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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I hope the people going to CNN's site can see that, because HE'S DOING IT AS HARD AS HE CAN. YHBT. YHL. HAND
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hehe. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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I still have no idea how people ever thought I was DKI. Happened over on Qt3 as well. I'm flattered, but I'm nowhere near original or funny enough to even come close to DKI. Videogames! Why waste good technology on science and medicine?
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I never thought you were DKI and have noi dea how people thought that. |
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All you Canadians are the same. |^^^^^^^^^^^^ |||__
| こんにちは | ||'|"\,__. |_..._...______===|=||_|__|...,] (@)'(@)"""*|(@)*(@)*****(@) |
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Happened over on Qt3 as well. Was it just a PC person perpetuating the meme? That happens. Even I know what crossing the Rubicon means, and I know fuck all about American history. -m0nty
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Also, does not look like a bomb. Define "looks like a bomb" then. Is it sticks of dynamite with tape wrapped around them, glued to an alarm clock? |
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Yeah? I'm pretty sure it doesn't look like a PCB with flashy lights and no bulk suggestive of semtex. |
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It was a fucking lite brite display. Literally If a bombsquad can't tell the difference between a lite brite display and a bomb. Fear for your life if there is an actual bomb. Any decent bomb tech should know that something suspended from wires only 4 feet square cannot possible contain enough explosives to counter superfical ablative properties of the "target". All this shows is that the citizens, police, and bomb techs of boston are mouth breathing morons. Also, they are mouth breathing morons withough cable, or the ability to read resistors, or fucking lightbulbs. They seriously had to blow at least one up to determine that it had no explosives. No charting of the FUCKING EXPOSED WIRING or anything like that. That might take someone with a seventh grade education. No mass/force calculations of uncharted spaces, nor how they related to the structural surfaces to which they were attached. In other words it's ameteur hour. Fucktards. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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And it couldn't be a remote wired to detonate explosives elsewhere if it gets moved? I mean, come on, almost anything can be a bomb these days. |
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And bago, give it up. Can you give us some background on your explosives training that shows you know better than the Boston Bomb Squad? And watching 24 doesn't count. |
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How we know you aren't a bomb? |
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Like in Stargate Atlantis!!!! ..oh damn I need to stop watching that crap. "there are times when newspapers must be rolled and then vigorously applied." - PA
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explosives need mass to detonate to explode. Assuming the highest known explosive rate (Hydrogen Oxygen) for a non-nuclear device and the given weight, max shockwave can be calculated. How this would ablate against the known structure would also be a known factor. Given the exponential decay of the blast shockwave over space and the known initial mass, a worst case scenario can be plotted. Simple rocket science. The fact that a 5 lb device with 4 D batteries hanging from wires many feet away from a structure was treated as a potential nuclear device is FUCKING RETARDED. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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If you have to ask why explosives experts need to do calculus and trig, you are asking the wrong question. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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Sounds like the "Top Secret Rubber Stamp" theory to me. I remember some show years ago explaining that many documents were labeled Top Secret for no other reason than the people issued with this stamp wanted to wield that power once in a while. If you're in the airport checking for bombs and you see something even vaguely suspicious you get to press the Talk button on your walkie talkie and say "I need the bombsquad in terminal 4, stat!" and feel all gun-ho and shit for 15 minutes when you get to explain the situation to officers and see all that good Hollywood action. Even if it's a lite brite display. "there are times when newspapers must be rolled and then vigorously applied." - PA
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explosives need mass to detonate to explode. Assuming the highest known explosive rate (Hydrogen Oxygen) for a non-nuclear device and the given weight, max shockwave can be calculated. How this would ablate against the known structure would also be a known factor. Given the exponential decay of the blast shockwave over space and the known initial mass, a worst case scenario can be plotted. Simple rocket science. You seem to be assuming the intention was to take the building down. What if the intent was to simply hurt some people in the immediate area or even just the first person who was foolish enough to mess with it? If it WAS an explosive of some sort and somebody got hurt we'd all be singing a different tune. It would be all, "OMG how could they not be more careful? You don't just pull something suspicious off the wall without thoroughly checking it out first! Come on, what idiots!" Everyone is an armchair expert after the fact. If you have to ask why explosives experts need to do calculus and trig, you are asking the wrong question. That must have been one of the elves in your head because nobody here asked that. |
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What the fuck is terrorist about a bomb that can't even cause structural damage? What needs the HSA? The IRA might have an answer, but that wasn't solved by shutting down London. The Japanese may make all the cars, the Chinese all the clothes and the French all the, um, Frenchmen. But damn if we don't lead the world in catchphrases.
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What the fuck is terrorist about a bomb that can't even cause structural damage? 1/10 |
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If terrorists were going to bomb Boston, wouldn't they hide the bomb or make it at least less obvious than something with flashing lights? Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore. -LP Johnsen Family
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That's what they want you to think! Oooouuuhh... "there are times when newspapers must be rolled and then vigorously applied." - PA
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Yes, it's a terrible overreaction by Boston. They deserve to have egg on their faces. They're being mean too. According to the AP article they arrested the guys that put them out there and charged them with placing a 'hoax' device. Given the numbers of them in other cities it's obvious that won't stick. But stick them in the holding cell for a few hours, that'll show 'em! Jackasses. |
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It's only an overreaction because it wasn't real. If it was real, everyone would be singing Boston's praises and smelting medals of honor. |
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Boy, everything is so clear to you guys. #70 by gaggle If you're in the airport checking for bombs and you see something even vaguely suspicious you get to press the Talk button on your walkie talkie and say "I need the bombsquad in terminal 4, stat!" and feel all gun-ho and shit for 15 minutes when you get to explain the situation to officers and see all that good Hollywood action. Who would do this? The MBTA guys? A local cop? Do you have any idea how much disruption and extra trouble this caused everyone involved? "Man, I'm bored..why don't I screw up my day, and the day of all my buddies, and the day of all the commuters, and draw down the ire of my boss, and force everyone to stand around outside in frigid temperatures for hours." After the stupidity in the Big Dig tunnel collapse, Bostonians are probably paranoid about any kind of weird stuff dangling off their bridges and highways and stuff. All I know is, in imperfect conditions where no one has all the information at hand, I don't mind people being cautious. I much prefer that to randomly violating the civil rights of some confused Sikhs or whatever. |
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No, it is not only because it wasn't real. That's like saying chicken little was justified because an acorn hit him on the head. A flat board with lights in the shape of a cartoon character, that even to people who have never seen the show looks like a space invader, is NOT A BOMB. As they apparently though in like NINE OTHER CITIES. Someone overreacted, and they they are trying to cover their embarrassment. In this post 9/11 world, people are stupid. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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Boy, everything is so clear to you guys. Clearly, the creaking of the boards should have been a dead giveaway. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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A flat board with lights in the shape of a cartoon character, that even to people who have never seen the show looks like a space invader, is NOT A BOMB. Yes, I've already said that your hindsight is 20/20. If you honestly believe that it's impossible that the device couldn't have been a detonator or something else equally bad, you're being naive. "Oh, but it's cute! It coudn't possibly be a bomb!" |
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no, i'm not. Have you seen home made bombs? They aren't exactly that sophisticated usually. They don't involve craftsmanship, which is why a lot of bombers end up setting the damn things off early. Perhaps it is you that watches too much 24. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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Why does the bomb have to be home made? Both you and bago are jumping to conclusions that prove your point but you aren't basing those conclusions on anything other than hindsight and wishful thinking. |
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There's a lot of haggle gaggling in here today, some of which is gaggle himself. |
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http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/ap_adult_swim4_070131_nr.jpg I bet whoever spotted it saw exposed batteries+red wire+capacitors and diodes and whatnot, period. From up close, and unlit, I bet they didn't even register the space invader-y shape at all. |
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Hugin Nonsense! I don't see a 1x1 foot blob of C4 attached to the front so it doesn't look suspicious in the slightest. |
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"Man, I'm bored..why don't I screw up my day, and the day of all my buddies, and the day of all the commuters, and draw down the ire of my boss, and force everyone to stand around outside in frigid temperatures for hours." If everyone involved is going to mea culpa their way out of it by Warren Marshalling the press conference into "Well, if the box of puppies had been an al Qaeda organic fission implosion device, you'd all look pretty stupid right about now. Where's our federal grant?" - they might just get in on the action. every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and it's your face I'm looking for on every street |
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Whatever. If it had actually been something, you wouldn't be posturing and acting like a bomb removal expert. |
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If you scroll up, you'll notice I've been doing neither. every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and it's your face I'm looking for on every street |
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Wow. |
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What? every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and it's your face I'm looking for on every street |
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I will concede that one could have confused it for an F-bomb. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
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A bomber wouldn't make a device that obvious. The boxes didn't irk the police in the rest of the nation, and no, Hugin, the big dig collapse is not a reason to be jumpy and overreact. If that was the case NY and DC should have called in the National Guard. |
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Late Update: Just before Futurama last night, Adult Swim apologized to the citizens of Boston, which means they feel they should share some of the blame for the incident. Part of the text of that bump is on their web site right now, and reads as follows: We apologize to the citizens of Boston that part of a marketing campaign was mistaken for a public danger. We appreciate the gravity of this situation and, like any responsible company would, are putting all necessary resources toward understanding the facts surrounding it as quickly as possible. As soon as we realized that an element of the campaign was being mistaken for something potentially dangerous, appropriate law enforcement officials were notified and through Federal law enforcement channels, we identified the specific locations of the advertisements in all 10 cities in which they are posted. We also directed the third-party marketing firm who posted the advertisements to take them down immediately. We appreciate the commitment demonstrated by the Boston Police Department and other law enforcement agencies, as well as the Massachusetts Governor's Office, and deeply regret the hardships experienced as a result of this incident. I'd say this is probably the best response to it. "Sorry about that" plus making sure that the authorities knew exactly where all of the pieces were. This helps close the door on anyone who might decide to build a bomb that looks like one of those things and post it somewhere, guessing that everyone would leave it alone. So...how long do you think it'll be before one of them goes up on eBay? Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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Yes, Boston, and continue to prosecute the two schlubs that put them there! Do it!!! Put 'em in the drunk tank with the winos, that'll teach 'em!!! |
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A bomber wouldn't make a device that obvious. Or WOULD they? |
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I should say, for the record, I think it's silly to arrest the people who put the things up. And personally, after the initial report (which came around 10:30), that the things, whatever they were, didn't appear to contain explosives, I assumed they were some MIT experiment, something GPS or Wifi related maybe. But no, I'm not going to blame authorites for checking out an unknown device attached to a piece of public infrastructure. They didn't have a sticker on the back that said "Cartoon network rules!", or a contact phone number (so far as I know anyway). They weren't on billboards. The people in charge of maintaining the bridges and such they were attached to apparently didn't know about them. And when reports started coming in that people were finding more of them on other bridges and highway structures? Bah. Maybe I'll stick some wacky surprise gifts to the undersides of peoples cars all over the city, I'm sure folks will love that. Look, I think basically the mayor and the governor yell at Cartoon Network, Cartoon Network apologizes, Cartoon Network cuts the city some negotiated check to cover cop overtime or whatever behind the scenes, and other companies don't do stupid viral marketing stuff in Boston for another year or so. Viral marketing sucks anyway. |
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Jibble There you go. |
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You just knew it was going to happen. Those things are high-value collectors items now. Hugin, I'm okay with most of what you said, but I don't think the solution is "Stop viral marketing" (though I agree that it sucks). The solution is "Give a heads up to the local authorities before you start sticking your ads up all over town, especially if they contain any form of electronics or might look like graffiti. It's a few phone calls, you lazy fuckers." Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Blog. 198 lbs. 18 to go. |
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The Boston police forgot one thing: no one cares enough about Boston to blow it up. :P -chris (I kid, I kid!) |
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