|
| T O P I C | |
|
Attack of the Killer Shrews
December 1st 2005, 23:07 CET by Marsh Davies As I lounged on my couch earlier today, willing the TV to dissolve my mind, I forced myself to watch from beginning to end a film called The Attack of the Killer Shrews. I don't know quite why I did this. An exercise in self-flagellation, I guess, resulting from my carefully cultivated balance of self-hatred and intense ennui. But this film managed to challenge even those boundaries, going well beyond B-Movie schlock into a world of unimaginable lameness that is rarely plumbed by even the worst movies of today. My question to you is this: what are the worst movies you've ever seen? And why? And I don't mean just films you didn't like, but films that are inexcusably, terribly, sickeningly bad. Films that are so bad that it isn't even funny any more how bad they are. Films like, for example, The Daughters of Satan, featuring Tom Selleck of Magnum PI, which despite gratuitous nudity, is utterly unrelentingly tedious. Or, perhaps, Lifeforce: a film which somehow manages to make lesbian vampires from out of space boring, despite the brave efforts of a young Patrick Stewart and a host of spontaneously exploding zombies. More importantly, as a big fan of Steven Segal's fine repertoire of cinema classics, I must ask this: what is it that separates a plainly bad film from a bad film that is entertaining because it is bad? |
| C O M M E N T S |
|
Home »
Topic: Attack of the Killer Shrews
|«« - Previous Page - Next Page - »»| |
|
And in Veszprém as well. What's your po... oh, 'sup bago. "There's no place like home."
|
|
It's snowing in Victoria. Second time this week. Anagar, are you Croatian? I hate my life and I want to die.
|
|
He's Hunblarigan. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
DVDs |
|
Useless to me, in other words. I hate my life and I want to die.
|
|
WEEP'D! "There's no place like home."
|
|
I brought my board to work if enough snow builds up! <Cerebus> if i want some inhuman semi-comedic non-sequitors, then you'll be the first i call.
|
|
That's nice, little buddy. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
DVDs |
|
In his defense, snow is a nice change from the 8 months a year Seattle gets of grey overcast skies with light drizzle. And I lived there for 5 years, so don't even try it... Jesus Christ, that is unbelievably retarded! - lwf
|
|
Bah, you lived in version 1.0. Version 2.23 of Seattle is much less rainy. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
DVDs |
|
6" at Mammoth with a chance of a bigger snow dump tonight and tomorrow, and I'm headed up there tomorrow. SO SCREW YOU GUYS! Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me. |
|
LEAVING FORTHEWEEKEND. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me. |
|
LEAVING FORTHEWEEKEND. Only if you survive it, otherwise it'll be FOREVER! |
|
I left Snake Eyes. Sanke Eyes is fantastic for precisely 20 minutes and then gets truly awful. Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?
Willie: What the fuck? No! |
|
I agree with what you wrote. |
|
The only movie I remember leaving was "gangs of new york," but that was only because I was forced to suffer the pains of the front row. I got my ticket changed to "About Schmidt" and then I fell asleep. Slack ass, slap face, slack rope, and slap Bass. Fold in a cup of cocaine. Now you have Drucifer's Quintessence.
|
|
I've never left a movie. If I'm going to rip it, I want the most complete, well informed ripping basis possible. |
|
I didn't mind Snake Eyes too much. Yeah, it goes rapidly downhill after the big opening shot, but I thought the structure of the film was really cool and even at its worst it never dropped below your run of the mill bad thriller, it just seemed worse because the good bits were so much better. MP3 Of The Half-Week: Bobby Womack - California Dreaming.mp3 (?)
|
|
I've never left a movie in the theater. Though I was eager to leave the live action Flintstones movie. Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?
Willie: What the fuck? No! |
|
The Cabbage Patch Kids movie was really bad. Little Monsters with Fred Savage was awful, heck anything with Fred Savage sucked all kinds of ass. All of the 80's Freaky Friday ripoffs (Vice Versa, Like Father Like Son, Dream a Little Dream) I've seen too many bad movies to really remember most of them. The films I hate the most, though, are films that alot of people enjoy like Reality Bites. I saw 9 Songs recently. That sucked. "Fucking up takes practice/I feel I'm well rehearsed/Because the past is a bully and the future's even worse."
My crummy little life |
|
Crystal got 25" of powder, and I'm headed up this weekend. Booyah! <Cerebus> if i want some inhuman semi-comedic non-sequitors, then you'll be the first i call.
|
|
Boy, you don't have nearly enough space in your nose to handle all that. Anywhoo, the only movie I ever walked out on was Angels in the Outfield. I was 14. We went to see some other random movie, then snuck in halfway through Angels in the Outfield because my younger cousin wanted to see it. About five minutes later we walked out on that and caught most of Blown Away. What? My aunt dropped us off with enough money for one ticket each and said "See you in four hours!" We had implied approval! Worst movie I've ever seen? Probably "Mystery Men". Yes, I said it. It was fucking awful. Suck it up, fanboys. what is it that separates a plainly bad film from a bad film that is entertaining because it is bad? Effort. With your plan they'd be all like "everyone with weasels in their pants thinks they're great dancers but they're not, they've just got weasels in their pants."
Blog. 220 lbs. 40 to go. |
|
Mystery Men wasn't so terrible. It managed to camouflage Stiller by casting him as an asshole, thus not extending past his true range. Plus, any movie with Geoffrey Rush and William H. Macy isn't all bad. |
|
It was terrible. Suck it up. With your plan they'd be all like "everyone with weasels in their pants thinks they're great dancers but they're not, they've just got weasels in their pants."
Blog. 220 lbs. 40 to go. |
|
See, now that I'm thinking about it I'm starting to have bad movie flashbacks. U Turn was also horrid, as was FearDotCom. With your plan they'd be all like "everyone with weasels in their pants thinks they're great dancers but they're not, they've just got weasels in their pants."
Blog. 220 lbs. 40 to go. |
|
Anything with Chevy Chase in it that doesn't include the word Vacation in the title. |
|
Oddballs is the only film I saw in the theater that made me and my friend throw our half chewed up White Castle hamburgers at the screen in disgust and then walk out. We skipped school to see it, was supposed to be a Meatballs type movie. We were the only two in theater. |
|
Oh, and The Matrix. |
|
Neither Fletch nor Caddyshack have "Vacation" in the title. |
|
m0nty, you've clearly cast your net too wide. Spies Like Us was a decently amusing flick, as was ¡Three Amigos! However, he has had a lot of stinkers like Modern Problems. With your plan they'd be all like "everyone with weasels in their pants thinks they're great dancers but they're not, they've just got weasels in their pants."
Blog. 220 lbs. 40 to go. |
|
as was ¡Three Amigos! No. |
|
Three Amigos rocked. Worst movie I've ever seen at the theatre? That's easy. Kuffs. "It's only make-believe until it becomes flim-flam."
|
|
m0nty, you've clearly cast your net too wide. Spies Like Us was a decently amusing flick, as was ¡Three Amigos! However, he has had a lot of stinkers like Modern Problems. Modern Problems was far from the worst of the Chevy Chase oevre. He actually made some interesting failures that I kinda enjoyed like Deal of the Century and Under the Rainbow. Nothing But Trouble was the absolute worst, though. "Fucking up takes practice/I feel I'm well rehearsed/Because the past is a bully and the future's even worse."
My crummy little life |
|
Hanged- Where have you been, homie? "It's only make-believe until it becomes flim-flam."
|
|
Kuffs is fantastic (in a bad 80s action movie way). 404 - Funny not found
Anyone who disagrees with me is a trollorist. |
|
Yea, hanged, where ya been? I didn't know Bob Wilfong was a real person. He did some videos for a meeting we had at work a couple of weeks back. Interesting. That Mars movie with Val Kilmer was pretty horrible. |
|
Red Planet. I really liked Spies Like Us as a tyke. |
|
I just watched "Do The Right Thing" again. It would make a good double feature with "Dogville". Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?
Willie: What the fuck? No! |
|
Alright, Caddyshack is another exception. Bill Murray trumps everything, including the suckitude of Chase. However, Fletch is also suck, as is Spies Like Us. |
|
Hey Yot and Cheesy, It's been a wacky coupla' months. First my roommate and I were dealing with this crazy woman who was doing her best to make our lives a living hell and then I finally got a steady job. It has been nonstop training and the company monitors all internet access very closely. Throw in a new girlfriend and I've had little time at all. I'll send you an email this weekend about the script, Yot. I just watched "Do The Right Thing" again. It would make a good double feature with "Dogville". I don't see the connection. "Fucking up takes practice/I feel I'm well rehearsed/Because the past is a bully and the future's even worse."
My crummy little life |
|
gif Charlie Hodge, the man who brings me mah scarves and mah water.
|
|
hanged- It's all good, bro. I got a really hot student teacher to play the female role. "It's only make-believe until it becomes flim-flam."
|
|
The main female role, that is. "It's only make-believe until it becomes flim-flam."
|
|
I've never left a movie. If I'm going to rip it, I want the most complete, well informed ripping basis possible. I probably wouldn't've left if it was just me, but my girlfriend wanted to leave and the movie was truly ass. We went and got something to eat at the 7-11, then came back for the last part of the triple-bill. I hate my life and I want to die.
|
|
I left the remake of 'The Vanishing'. Bitch manager only gave me half price too... age-discriminating cunt. I would have left 'Kiss of the Vampire', but I was at a girl's house, so we just shut it off. The remake of 'The Killer Shrews' I was involved with has ceased production, so basically I'm left here with some unfinished logos and nothing final. Sigh. New MP3s - Sasha - Bloodlock - Unkle - In A State (Sasha Remix)
|
|
So, you can draw some comics then. Charlie Hodge, the man who brings me mah scarves and mah water.
|
|
I don't think I've ever walked out of a movie. Armageddon, AvP, Rat Race and others I can't remember all made me think my time could've been better spent, though. And who else could enter and leave the house without leaving footprints in the snow? Only Santa and the Easter Bunny. (And I was chilling with the Easter Bunny that night, so I know it wasn't him.)
|
|
But Race Race was funny.. Anyway, worst movie ever? Antibody springs to mind. I don't friggin' *understand* why I didn't skip through that one, bejesus I was crying blood by the end. It's very bad. I also wanted to leave that stupid fucking Tom Hanks movie, The Polar Express, but I was there with family and they wouldn't allow it. I've grown as a person in the past years though, when entertained I try hard to continually revise the level of fun and compare it to other potential forms of entertainment. Thus, should a movie dip into boredom I've gotten better to skip through sections or just drop it completly. I find this level is easier to maintain when watching a movie at home. This has also lead me to finally stop seeing Simpsons and Desperate Housefraus. Next up is Threshold and Atlantis. And I can't believe how wrong people can be in this thread. Including Three Amigos on a Worst Movie list?.. come on, that's so harsh it fits perfectly as a troll post. "O Avô vem salvar"
|
|
Rat Race, meh.. "O Avô vem salvar"
|
|
Jibble what is it that separates a plainly bad film from a bad film that is entertaining because it is bad? Effort. You mean that a bad film is plain bad if it puts effort in, and is entertaining if it doesn't try to be anything other than bad... or vice versa? Schnee - I didn't know you were involved with a remake of that... or that a remake was in the works (God help us). Would you be able to show me some of the logos so I could have a chuckle? |
|
So yeah, Broken Social Scene. I downloaded a couple of their albums the other day, and so far I'm extremely impressed. They're a supergroup (from what I understand, there's 17 members) of various Canadian indie acts, including Metric, Do Make Say Think, and the Dears. Very cool stuff. Of course, it's all passé and bleh for music-snob-fuckheads like schnee. But anyone that still likes music that isn't always OMGsoexperimental bullshit, give it a listen. Their entire catalog is available on iTunes worldwide, as is their former band: K.C. Accidental. Aeternum vale
|
| C O M M E N T S |
|
Home »
Topic: Attack of the Killer Shrews
|«« - Previous Page - Next Page - »»| |
| P O S T A C O M M E N T |
|
|
| C R A P T A G S | ||||||||
|
|
| There are currently 0 people browsing this site. [Details] |
Powered by blah 0.9.1-dev •
PlanetCrap is © 1997-2035 Hendrik "Morn" Mans
|